Act of Faith
By Athena13

See Chapter 1 for Summary, Classification & Disclaimer

Contains Slash Content

<><><><><><><><><><>
Here's my heart my love is in it
<><><><><><><><><><>
Chapter 5 - Evolution
<><><><><><><><><><>
[Apollo's Quarters]

Sheba woke up to find Apollo leaning on an elbow and smiling down at her. Sheba smiled up at him tenderly until she woke up enough to be uncomfortable. What exactly was she supposed to do about her breath in this situation?

"Don't turn away," Apollo told her. "You look beautiful."

Sheba shook her head and refused to open her mouth. Apollo chuckled as he realized her concern.

"You're going to have to get used to this eventually," he coaxed her by sliding his hand over her abdomen.

"Not if I start waking up before you," she mumbled.

Apollo laughed and tickled her stomach. "Roll over, here," he refused to give her quarter.

"You asked for it," she warned him and turned around. As soon as she did he captured her mouth and kissed away her concerns.

He pulled away and kissed her forehead. "I have to get out of here for patrol, but feel free to stay as long as you like."

Closing her eyes and snuggling further under the covers Sheba allowed herself to pretend that she had the luxury of going back to sleep. She allowed this for all of a centon it took until the door closed behind Apollo. Then she tossed the blanket aside and flipped over onto her stomach and contemplated the room around her. She was surprised to realize that the room was more masculine than she had expected, though it was obvious he hadn't redecorated all that much since Serina had died. Sheba surmised that the masculine flavor had more to do with the fact that he and Serina hadn't lived together very long, rather than Apollo having prepared the suite for her presence.

Pulling her mind away from useless wonderings about Apollo's wife, Sheba dropped her head onto the bed and allowed images and sensations from the passionate cycle before to fill her mind. Well, she stretched out a few centons later, this is a pleasant way to be sore!

Her thoughts then turned to the conversation she and Apollo hadn't finished as they were, busy, doing other things. She hadn't mentioned it to Apollo, but Sheba had her own suspicions about Starbuck and Athena. Before they had left Sheba had caught sight of Athena looking like she had been well and truly kissed and, since Athena hadn't been smiling, Sheba didn't think it had been Jack who had done the kissing. But there was only one way she was going to find out.

At her last thought, Sheba abandoned her indolent pose and got up to start her own day.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Good Cycle, Omega," Athena ran into her friend as they approached the bridge. "So, how was your night cycle?"

"Great, wonderful," he was clearly euphoric over his renewed union with his long-lost love.

"Glad to hear it," Athena told him with a smile.

"How about you and Jack?" he asked.

"Not so simple," she shook her head. "It seems I'm not the only one with emotional baggage."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Omega said sympathetically, his hand cupping her elbow briefly.

"We're not giving up, we just have some hurdles to clear. We'll see what happens," she said

philosophically.

"If you need someone to talk to, you know where I am," he told her.

"Thanks," Athena appreciated the offer. "I'm going to see Noah after we get off duty and I'm taking Boxey. Want to tag along?" she asked, sure that he would grab the excuse to see Caphis.

"Do I really need to answer that?" he chuckled at her expectant look.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Apollo was pacing next to his viper. Starbuck was once again late for patrol the morning after a party. He was going to either have to punish his warrior or schedule better.

"Finally," Apollo heard Starbuck's approach. He took one look at his wingmate's face and his relief fled. "I can't believe you even dared to show your face looking like that! Get out of here, you're not flying hung over," Apollo was furious.

"I'm not hungover, I only had two drinks," Starbuck insisted.

"Whatever Starbuck," Apollo sighed. "Get to the Life Center. I'll get Jolly to cover for you." Apollo turned away and went to find a launch bay crewman to prepare the Flight Sergeant's viper.

Starbuck sighed and walked out of the launch bay. In truth, his head was pounding and his stomach was doing somersaults and he didn't have the energy to argue with Apollo. But he knew there was no way two drinks could be making him feel like this. He wasn't sure what was making him feel this way, but he suspected it was probably because he hadn't slept much in the past couple of sectons.

He sunk back against the turbolift wall and groaned as it's movement increased his nausea tenfold. When the lift finally stopped, a cold sweat had broken out across his forehead and he weakly stumbled towards his bunk, sure that a little more sleep would make him feel better.

It had to be lack of sleep. He couldn't be sick because that would mean he would be pulled from patrols until Doctor Salik was satisfied he had fully recovered. And as much as he wanted a furlon he didn't want some body prodder having a hold over his fate.

When he woke up a couple of centars later, he immediately knew that his wish had been in vain as he jumped up and sprinted for the turboflush and let loose the contents of his stomach. When he was finished, he washed his mouth and face as the room spun around him.

With a resigned groan he trudged back to his bunk, put his clothes back on and headed to the Life Center. At least Cassi would enjoy this. He was finally at his mercy.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Captain Apollo has pulled Lieutenant Starbuck from patrol and replaced him with Flight Sergeant Jolly," Athena heard Omega inform her father behind her.

"Did he give any reason?" the Commander asked.

"He said the Lieutenant was ill," Omega said in a voice devoid of emotion.

Athena could feel Colonel Tigh and her father looking at each other skeptically. They both knew about the party last night and Tigh had even made an appearance to wish Boomer well. Whatever was really going on, Athena knew that Starbuck would not be let off lightly by her brother despite their friendship. For Starbuck's sake, Athena hoped he really was sick.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"I would diagnose a bacterial infection," Doctor Salik pronounced as he finished examining the moaning pilot.

"Cassi, take a blood sample so we can pinpoint which bacteria and prescribe an antibiotic. I'm sure we'll have it under control in no time," he patted Starbuck's shoulder lightly. "Meanwhile, I'll go inform the Commander so we can have the other attendees of the party checked out. And yourself Cassi," he reminded her on his way out.

"I know, I know, you told me so," Starbuck lay back on the table as the room began to spin again.

Cassi drew his blood and passed the sample on to another Med Tech. "Lila will help you to a room as soon as you feel able to get up. You'll be fine soon, I promise," she kissed his forehead.

"I don't think I'll ever be able," Starbuck said feebly as she left.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Colonel Tigh sighed as he heard the news from Doctor Salik.

"Athena, Omega, Rigel and anyone else who was there last night, get to the Life Center now and get checked out." He was relieved to see that only a few of his staff got up to leave. He had a remaining crewman put a call out to Apollo on patrol to order him back. They couldn't leave a potentially ill pilot in the air. Tigh also ordered up a replacement pilot.

"Sir," Athena approached the Colonel. She bit back a smile as Tigh held up a hand to stop her from getting close. Her father looked at her expectantly. "Caphis from the Orphan Ship and Jack from the Amicus were both at the party last night, there were also some women from one of the agro ships," she informed them.

"Oh Lords," Adama said when he thought of the children. "Tigh contact the Amicus and track down Jack. I'll call Caphis," he said and did just that. "Lieutenant, to the Life Center," he ordered his daughter as he waited for contact with the Orphan Ship.

Athena turned on her heel and headed out. Images of Starbuck's kiss filled her mind as she made her reluctant way to the ship's health center. If she had this, she was going to kill him. And, if the kids got it, she was going to torture him first!

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Omega and Rigel, your tests are clean. You can report back to the bridge," Cassiopeia informed the impatient bridge officers.

"Thanks," Omega sighed in relief, then his eyes strayed towards his friend who was still sitting in her curtained testing area. "And Athena?"

"Unfortunately, Athena seems to have picked up this infection too, although it is still in the incubation period," Cassi informed them.

"Why do I have a feeling that this means that I have to be locked up in here for the duration?" Athena's shoulders slumped.

"Because it does, although we don't like to compare it to the brig, you'll have Starbuck to keep you company," Cassi said with some humor.

"Oh sure, you work here," she griped, trying to keep a good face on things. Inside, however, she was still fuming. "This is all Starbuck's fault and, when I see him, I'm going to kill him," Athena thought to herself, then her face flushed as she remembered his assault on her the night before.

"So how long does this thing take to show up or is it possible it won't manifest?" she asked hopefully.

"I wouldn't count on it not showing up. It's hard to say how long until it appears. You may have a prodrome period first, like Starbuck did, where you begin to feel achy and run down," Cassi informed her. "And, before you ask, we discovered when we looked at Starbuck's blood that, while we know what bacteria this is, we haven't found a strong enough control shot against it. The best we can do is help your immune systems fight it. Omega, you might as well pass that along to Colonel Tigh. He'll need to have someone fill in for Athena on the bridge for an indefinite period of time."

"Please don't tell me I'll be quarantined with Starbuck," Athena groaned even as inside she was hoping she would be left alone with the soon-to-be-dead warrior.

"Listen, Athena," Omega called out before he left. "I'll take Boxey with me to the Orphan Ship and introduce him around."

"Thanks Omega," Athena waved. After her coworkers had left she looked around and wondered what she was supposed to do in the Life Center for an indeterminate period of time.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"The Orphan Ship appears unaffected, although Jack on the Amicus does have it. We're not sure yet where it came from or why only these three have been infected so far," Tigh informed Adama.

"So somehow only Athena, Jack and Starbuck have it," the father in him wasn't examining that fact too closely.

"Yes, Sir. Jack has been quarantined on the Science Ship," Tigh sounded uncomfortable. "Not all the tests results are completed."

Adama closed his eyes and shook his head. With Starbuck involved, things were never simple.

"Thank you, Tigh, keep me updated," he nodded to his friend. He really didn't want to have to report to the Council that the warriors were responsible for spreading this.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Apollo was torn between guilt and annoyance. He was annoyed at being yanked from patrol when he felt fine, even though he completely agreed with the reasoning. He felt guilty for giving his friend a hard time when he really was sick. Starbuck's words from their argument a couple of sectons ago came back to him. Once again he had doubted his friend's integrity. He was such a coltig's astrum.

"I owe you big," Apollo sighed. He would make it up to Starbuck somehow.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"So where is Starbuck?" Athena asked as Cassi led her down an empty hall to where she would be staying.

"Next door," Cassi pointed to the door marked "5."

"Lovely," Athena mumbled to herself as Cassi showed her into her lovely room "3."

"Listen, think of this as a mini-vacation for now. Later you'll be glad you're here and not at work," she pointed out.

"You have such a bedside manner," Athena chuckled.

"Only with my favorite patient. The other one I might just murder, or one of the other Med Techs will!" Cassi gestured towards Starbuck's side of the wall.

"Giving you a hard time? He was never easy when he was sick," Athena grimaced as she remembered a few times when she had been blessed with that experience. "How is he?" she only asked because she wanted to be sure he was well enough to understand why she was killing him.

"Actually, not well at all, so we're trying to be patient," Cassi's look turned sympathetic.

"Do I want to know how he's suffering?" Athena asked hesitantly, knowing she was in for much of the same soon enough.

"No," Cassi shook her head. "The bacteria seems to be concentrated in the respiratory area and the inner ear which is what is causing Starbuck's nausea. Once his body has enough of the antibiotic we do have he'll start to recover. And we still might find something useful in the plants we obtained from that planet. We'll start you with the course of medication now, it might make you tired though."

Athena sat down on the bed. This sectar was getting worse and worse. "Can I see him? It's not like I need to be kept away at this point," Athena asked.

"I'm not so sure you want to see him like this," Cassi delicately suggested.

"I've seen him this way. One yahren he and Apollo came to our house for furlon and both caught the Zwei Virus. My mother and I took care of them," she told Cassi. "It can't be any worse than that," she scrunched her nose in remembered disgust.

"No, it's probably not that bad," Cassiopeia laughed.

Athena looked away guiltily as she remembered just how it had likely been passed between the three of them. Guilt for Cassiopeia's sake, not Starbuck's - he deserved it! "Is there any way I can get a hand-held in here? And what about a change of clothes?" she asked in lieu of admitting the truth.

"Life Center garb I'm afraid," she pointed to the waiting garment. "And Omega already slipped you a hand-held."

Athena picked up the horrible gown-thing and found the hand-held. "At least I won't be totally bored," she smiled at the Med Tech as she realized she had really missed the woman's company over the past couple of sectons. Well, she would probably have plenty of it over the next indeterminate period of time. "Do I really have to wear this thing?" she held up the flimsy gown. At least they had closing backs now she noted.

"You really do. I also brought you a robe since you'll be hanging out with us for a while," Cassiopeia told her. "If you need anything, let us know."

"Thanks Cass, I don't mean to be difficult," Athena apologized for her grousing.

"No need, I would be worse if I were in your position," the Med Tech assured her before leaving.

Athena flopped down on the bed, the gown in one hand and the handheld on her stomach. This was a nightmare, it had to be. She couldn't be stuck in quarantine next door to Starbuck who had an infection only she and her date had.

<><><><><><><><><><>

It was all Starbuck's fault and she was going to make sure that he knew she knew it and that he was going to pay for it! Athena pulled the robe over her scantily clad body and peeked into the hall to make sure it was clear. All she needed now would be for the IFB to be watching and broadcast her scantily clad visit. By the time Zara got through with them, Athena might well be carrying Starbuck's love-child instead of his bacteria. Full of self righteousness Athena strode into Starbuck's room without knocking.

Athena paused just inside the doorway to let her eyes adjust to the dim lighting. Once they did, however, her anger faded.

Starbuck was lying on the bed with a hydration line in his arm, which freaked her out a bit, looking not well at all. She walked to his side and saw that he was awake.

"What are you doing here?" he rasped out.

Athena's heart skipped a beat at the weak sound. She studied his face. He was pale except for two bright spots of color on his cheeks and his forehead was beaded with a sheen of moisture. Athena looked around and found a basin of water and a cloth. Without a word she dipped the cloth into the cool water and squeezed it out. Tenderly she lay it over his forehead and sat down on the side of his bed.

"Don't!" Starbuck grabbed her arm. "Don't...move...." he told her.

Athena took a deep breath and stopped herself from jarring him.

"That feels good on my head," he said a few centons later when his stomach stopped rioting.

Athena gently ran her moist fingers over his face and he sighed with pleasure and closed his eyes. He was burning up and she felt her heart squeeze. She hated to see him in pain of any kind, unless she got to inflict it for kissing her last night. If no one else ended up sick from this, and apparently Cassiopeia wasn't yet, it could cause unimaginable problems for all of them.

"You look like felgercarb," she whispered. "I guess I don't have to punish you for last night after all."

"You can talk in a normal tone of voice, the headache is mostly gone," he wearily informed her. "And I know I look like daggit meat and deserve it for what I did. Can I claim that I was delirious with fever?"

"Were you?" Athena smiled at his singular nature. There was no one else who could arouse such ire in her and just as quickly smote it down. She removed the cloth from his head to stroke it along his face and neck. His breathing became calm again and he practically hummed with pleasure. Then, suddenly, he jerked up and leaned over the other side of the bed and began heaving into the waiting receptacle.

Athena stood up and waited out his bout, keeping her back to him to give him privacy. When he was done, she handed him some mouth rinse and, after rinsing his mouth, he lay back down and tried to catch his breath.

"Sorry," he croaked out.

"I usually don't have that effect on men when I'm on their beds," Athena chuckled.

"I usually don't have that reaction to women when they're on my bed. So why are you here?" he smiled at her humor.

"I have it too. That's why I'm allowed in here parading in another great Fleet fashion," she waved the flaps of her robe.

"Looks better on you than me," he joked. "My stomach actually feels a lot better now," Starbuck sounded relieved.

"How long have you been," she waved towards the other side of the bed.

"Since before the morning cycle," he told her.

"Oh, only eight or so centars, great," she smiled at him. "I hope for both our sakes that's over with now."

"Yeah, you hate puking more than I do," Starbuck remembered with a small chuckle.

"Okay, if we need to walk down memory lane, choose another path. How about when Mom and I took care of you and Apollo all those yahrens ago?" she raised an eyebrow.

"That was a spoiled furlon, but you were so cute," he closed his eyes.

"I was not cute! I was a mature sixteen," Athena raised her chin.

"An alluring sixteen yahren old," Starbuck patted her hand. "How do you feel?"

Athena looked at the hands in her lap and sighed. "Truthfully?" she looked at him questioningly.

"Always," he quirked his brows at her to show he too understood the irony.

"I'm starting to feel achy and tired, but that could be boredom. This really stinks," she told him unnecessarily.

"Well, there's no reason we can't be bored together," Starbuck sighed. "Is anyone else going to be joining us?"

"No one else on the Galactica has tested positive, yet," she informed him.

"Other ships?" Starbuck asked.

"Just Jack on the Amicus," she said with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, great. Has Cassi, um, asked you any questions to determine how it was transmitted?" he asked hesitantly.

"Actually, Doctor Salik did. He didn't ask if we kissed so I didn't volunteer the information figuring that none of kissed anyone else and I thought I'd better talk to you first. But I'd better tell him soon so others can be warned," she pointed out.

"It's not like I went around kissing other people. Not even Cassi now that I think about it. Funny, this conversation is making me feel like throwing up again," Starbuck gave her a phony smile. "I probably should talk to Cass before you talk to Doctor Salik."

"I don't think I want to be stuck in here after you have that conversation," Athena looked down at the hands in her lap.

"She's not going to be upset with you, it was all my doing," Starbuck pointed out.

"I did participate somewhat," she said in a guilty voice.

"My Lords, I practically raped you!" Starbuck hissed.

Athena looked up at him, surprised by the vehemence in his voice. Yes, he had started their encounter and he had been rather forceful, but her answering arousal had been more than obvious. She didn't want him to feel the deep guilt he was obviously feeling, but was scared to delve too deeply into her own actions. "That's not quite what happened."

"I grabbed you and I threw you against that wall and, and..." he couldn't even finish.

She saw his feverish flush darken and realized she had better get it all out into the open.

"And my tongue was in your mouth and my hands around your head," she closed her eyes. "You know how aroused I was."

Her words broke though Starbuck's haze of self-loathing and his mind flashed back to the feel of her answering arousal in the O' Club. His breathing quickened and he felt himself become aroused as he looked at her now. Regardless of the fact he felt terrible and she was mortified and couldn't look at him. Seeing her legs peeking out of her robe, he wondered if there was a time he hadn't found this girl beautiful.

"Do you still want me?" he couldn't help asking.

"What?" Athena's jaw dropped open and she looked at him.

"I mean," Starbuck hurriedly looked for a bluff. "Are you sitting here to seduce me?"

"No!" she glared at him.

"Last night was an aberration. A stupid one that has probably gotten us in trouble," Starbuck tried to infuse confidence in his voice and will his obvious arousal down before she noticed it.

"Whatever happened, Cass only needs to know that I started it and you ended it," he put his hand on her thigh, unable to not touch her.

"I hate lying," she looked troubled.

"You are not part of Cass and mine's relationship. It should only matter what I did," he said.

"It still doesn't feel right, but maybe it's silly to make a big deal out of something that will never happen again? Anyway, I should go," she stood up and turned away.

"Why don't you stay a bit longer, it's not like we have anything else to do," Starbuck grinned and pulled her hand until she was lying down next to him. With only a moment's hesitation, Athena closed her eyes and snuggled against him. "So, tell me a story."

"Well," Athena chuckled for a micron before continuing. "There was this viper pilot who was known to be a rogue and he had a wingmate who was a real stickler for the rules, especially when it came to his rogue wingmate. One cycle the Captain went out on patrol with a substitute, when suddenly he was recalled from patrol because it was determined that the rogue pilot wasn't hungover but was genuinely sick. Feeling sorry for his wingmate he comes back to apologize but then finds out that the rogue really is a rogue and got..."

"Um, maybe the story wasn't a good idea," Starbuck groaned.

"I was kind of enjoying it," Athena said.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"I heard Aunt Athena is sick, just like Starbuck," Boxey looked up at the tall bridge officer.

"Yes, she is, that's why I volunteered to take you to the Orphan Ship," Omega told the child.

"And because you want to visit your boyfriend," Boxey nodded.

Omega smiled. Boxey might be adopted, but he was a lot like his father and grandfather. He always knew what was going on around him. Of course, his mother had been a quality journalist. "Yes, that too," Omega admitted.

"Cool! I want to play with the kids," Boxey finally seemed convinced that the trip was still on and ran to his quarters to get his stuff.

"I guess he doesn't mind going with me," Omega chuckled and went to follow.

As soon as they arrived, Noah ran up to Omega and right past him and Boxey. "Where's Athena?" he turned around and inquired when the named woman didn't appear behind them.

Omega eyes sought out the child's nanny and he motioned her over. "This is Athena's nephew Boxey. Boxey this is Noah," Omega stalled.

"Hi Noah," Boxey greeted the younger boy. "I live on the Galactica. It must be cool to live with all these other kids."

Noah appeared interested in the new boy, but his mind was still firmly fixed on his earlier question. "Hi. Where's Athena?"

"Noah, come sit down," Rette, his nanny motioned him to a seat.

"She's not coming," Noah said sullenly and reluctantly complied.

Rette waited until the boy was sitting and she kneeled before him. When he wouldn't look at her, she lifted his chin with her fingers. "Noah, Athena is not here because she is not feeling well. She really wanted to come."

"She's sick?" Noah's tone was a cross between relief and worry. "What's wrong with her?"

"Remember when you had to stay home from class and stay in bed a few sectars ago? It's like that. She should be fine in a few days," Rette finished explaining.

"Is that true?" Noah looked towards those he clearly labeled as better sources than his caretaker.

"Yes, Athena will be fine. She's just not allowed out of her bed for a few days," Omega concurred.

Noah looked skeptically at the adult before looking at Boxey.

"It's true," Boxey confirmed.

"She's going to die isn't she?" Noah asked in the matter-of-fact tone of a child who had already seen too much death and destruction.

"No, she's just not feeling well," Boxey shook his head. "But she promised she was going to bring me here today, so I came with Omega instead. Do you want to show me your toys? We don't have this many toys on the Galactica."

"Well, the warriors don't need so many toys as us," Noah explained and took Boxey by the hand and dragged him off.

"Do they all do that?" Omega asked.

"Disbelieve adults or think the worst? Yes, generally," Rette answered him. "He's very attached to Athena already."

"It's mutual," Omega told her.

<><><><><><><><><><>

[Life Center, Room 5]

Apollo walked into his wingmate's room and his eyes almost popped out at the scene before him.

Suddenly paranoid he looked behind him to make sure that Cass hadn't followed him, which considering the fact he had sneaked into that part of the Life Center was no surprise.

Breathing a sigh of relief Apollo turned his attention back to the sleeping pair as he tried to work out his feelings about the situation between them. He knew both of them so well and for so long that sometimes he worked more from his assumptions than the reality of a situation. Apollo was beginning to suspect that was how he had reacted to Athena and Starbuck's earlier relationship. Had he taken the easy way out and just accepted Starbuck's own hype?

Apollo had always been supportive of Starbuck's endeavor to appear carefree to those outside their close knit circle of friends, perhaps he forgot to see Starbuck as he knew him to really be, a sensitive and caring man, albeit a bit reckless and hot tempered?

And yet, Apollo cut himself some slack, he still had valid concerns for his sister's well-being to consider. It wasn't any misperception that Starbuck wasn't the settling down type he wanted for his sister. At least he hadn't been before Athena, though he had flirted with the idea briefly with Aurora.

Besides, what big brother wants his sister to date any man, especially one that brother knew had a casual attitude about sex.

As if silently contradicting Apollo's natural prejudices, Starbuck rolled over and put his other arm around Athena, effectively encircling her in his embrace.

Despite their denials Apollo couldn't help but feel responsible for Starbuck and Athena losing each other just when they needed each other the most. If he had allowed their relationship to develop naturally would they have been strong enough to hold onto each other when all else was lost as he and Serina had done? Seeing them like this he wished there was something he could do to fix the situation, but what about Cassiopeia, how could he interfere this time and hurt her too? She seemed to really care about Starbuck and visa versa. She also was good for him when he needed someone, but was there the making of a lifelong sealing? Looking at Athena and Starbuck now

The question was what could he do to give them a chance without hurting anyone?

He had found a way onto a basestar, he would find a way to do this too.

In the meantime, he had better get his sister out of that bed before Cassiopeia did find them.

Trying his best not to wake them, Apollo leaned over and began moving Starbuck's arm off of Athena. As soon as he slid his arms underneath her he knew that something was terribly wrong.

"Apollo?" Starbuck's hoarse voice impinged into his consciousness.

Apollo couldn't answer.

"Apollo what's wrong?" Starbuck sensed something was wrong and began to rise.

"She's burning up," Apollo looked at his friend, his face a mask of worry and concern.

"I'm sure..." Starbuck started to say until his hand settled on Athena's arm.

"I'm getting her to her room, call a med tech," Apollo ordered and clasping his sister to his chest he rushed back to the room he had found empty a few centons earlier.

A split centon later Cassie came rushing in followed closely by a slower moving Starbuck.

"What's wrong Apollo?" she asked.

"She's burning up. I think she's having trouble breathing and I can't wake her," Apollo said economically and moved aside.

Cassiopeia leaned over Athena for a few microns before pressing a button. A few microns later Doctor Salik entered. In the meantime Cassi had begun procedures to measure Athena's temperature.

Death not a far thing from their lives

"Forty point one, it was normal a centar ago," Cassi said and moved aside for Doctor Salik to perform his examination.

"My fever wasn't that high," Starbuck murmured to Apollo, who started at the sound of Starbuck's voice, not having realized he had entered the room.

"Starbuck, you shouldn't be out of bed," Cassi realized for the first time that her other patient was wandering from where he was expected to be.

"How is she," Starbuck waved away her solicitous attempt to assist him back to his room. With a sigh Cassi waved over another med tech who was waiting outside the room and a blanket was placed around his shoulders. Starbuck didn't even notice.

"It's not the illness, I think she's allergic to the control shot we gave her," Doctor Salik explained. "We'll stop the drug and put her on oxygen until the reaction passes. Until we find another control shot, however, we'll just have to keep her hydrated and watch her temperature, heart rate and glucose utilization. If it continues for too long or she begins exhibit serious symptoms, we'll have to find some other way to fight off the infection."

"Are you sure it's the shot?" Apollo asked.

"Almost certain Captain, Starbuck didn't display the same type or degree of symptoms," the doctor answered.

"Will she..." Apollo stopped and cleared his throat.

"Will she be all right?" Starbuck put a hand over Apollo's shoulder and asked for him.

"I'm sure she'll be fine. Once we identify the exact cause of the infection we'll be able to create something more specifically targeted and she'll be fine, as will the other patients. And since you're here we might as well test you Captain. You might have been clean before, but you came back here without proper precautions. Luckily we happen to have another spare room back here with your friends,"

Doctor Salik said with arched brows.

Apollo was too concerned for his sister to squirm under the authoritative scolding of the doctor.

"Sit with your sister for a while, we'll give you a control shot and test you in a little while. I'll contact your father," Salik said kindly before leaving the room.

"You go back to your room," Cassi put her hands on Starbuck's arms. "Let him be alone for a bit."

At her whispered plea Starbuck nodded, not taking his eyes off of Athena's prone form until Cassi manually turned him around and led him out of the room.

Apollo, oblivious to the activity behind him, sat down by his sister's side and brushed her hair back.

"I'm going to fix everything Brat, I promise. One way or anther big brother is going to make things better," he promised.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Multiplication? We just learned addition and subtraction," Noah looked up at Boxey in awe.

"I can teach you if you want?" Boxey offered his advanced knowledge with the deportment of royalty.

"Sure, then I can be ahead of the other kids my age," Noah said excitedly.

"They're getting along well," Caphis observed from across the room.

"A big relief, I was imagining having to deal with a very upset boy," Omega nodded.

"Well," Caphis' smile disappeared. "He's prone to bad dreams. I suspect we'll have those to deal with until he can see Athena. How is she doing?"

"She was fine when I left. Not happy about being confined to the Life Center, but not sick yet," Omega crossed his arms to keep from touching his lover in front of the children.

"Any chance she won't get sick?" Caphis smiled as he caught the pose's meaning.

"Not according to the Doctor," Omega shrugged.

"Well, for her sake and Noah's I hope they find the cause soon," Caphis turned to go back to his office, inviting Omega to follow with a silent glance.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"No! No! No!" the little boy screamed out in the dark room.

"Noah, wake up," Rette lay her hand on his back and gently shook him. "You're having a bad dream."

"No!" Noah screamed one more time before his eyes opened. "A dream?" he asked in his child's voice.

"Is Athena dead?"

"No, she's not. She's just sick remember?" Rette sat down.

"No, she's dead," Noah sat up and shook his head. "She died and you're all lying to me!" he finished in a yell.

Rette sighed and confirmed that the rest of the children had indeed woken up. "Come with me," Rette held out her hand.

"No! She's dead! I'm not going with a liar!" he started to cry.

Rette lifted the little boy into her arms and carried him to Caphis' office. As she expected, Caphis entered within a few centons and took in the sight before him.

"Noah? What's wrong?" he knelt down in front of Rette holding the boy.

"She's dead!" he continued to cry, his sobs getting stronger.

Caphis looked at Rette and mouthed "Athena." At her nod, he turned his attention back to the hysterical child. "Noah, Athena is not dead. She's just not feeling well. Her nephew told you that," he reminded him.

"No," Noah said between gasping sobs, "you're all lying to me. She promised to come," he hid his face in Rette's chest.

"Noah, we're not lying to you," Caphis told him.

"Then I want to call her!" he demanded.

"It's the middle of the night cycle, Noah. She's sleeping, we can't call her now," Caphis told him.

"Because she's dead!" he began to sob again.

Caphis and Rette looked at each other. Neither believed that Athena would be awake at this time or that the Life Center would consent to wake her. In fact, considering her virtual quarantine status, she might not have access to a comm.

"Would you believe it if a doctor told you that Athena was all right and just sleeping?" Caphis asked.

Noah thought for a while before looking at Caphis. "Maybe," he conceded.

'One small battle won," Caphis rose and moved to the comm. "This is Caphis from the Orphan Ship. Is Doctor Salik awake? Thank you."

"What can I do for you Caphis? I thought all of your children and staff were clean?" Doctor Salik's weary face appeared on the screen.

"No, everyone is fine. Well, almost. I have a little boy here who has had a nightmare and is convinced that Lieutenant Athena is no longer with us. There isn't any way we can speak to her now is there?" Caphis asked.

"No, she's sleeping. And there is no comm in her current quarters. Perhaps I can talk to this young man," Doctor Salik offered.

Caphis lifted Noah up and held him in front of the comm.

"I understand you're concerned about Athena. I'm Doctor Salik here on the Galactica and I can assure you that Athena is fine," he assured the little boy.

"Well, when can I see her?" Noah crossed his arms and looked at the Doctor dubiously. "Next cycle?"

"I can't promise you she'll be able to leave her room yet. What she has is contagious and we have to keep her isolated so that no one else will get sick too. But I will promise to get a message to you from her and to let her come to the comm to call you as soon as we can. Now I imagine, young man, that Athena wouldn't want you to miss anymore sleep on her account," Salik said as authoritatively as he could.

"Okay, and, uh, thank you," Noah looked sleepy again.

"You're welcome, young man. I will make sure that, when visitors are allowed, Caphis brings you to see her," Doctor Salik bit back a smile.

"Thank you," Noah called as Caphis put him back down.

"Thank you, Doctor," Caphis smiled at the elder man. After Rette had taken Noah out of the room, he proceeded to speak. "How is Athena?"

"She's had an allergic reaction to the control shot we gave her, but she'll be fine. She is in no condition right now to speak to anyone though. We expect she should be over the worst of the reaction by mid-cycle tomorrow and then we can assess how the infection is affecting her. We are still hoping that the new plants we've gotten can be synthesized into a more effective and safer shot," Doctor Salik revealed.

"Might she be allergic to that shot too?" Caphis asked.

"It's possible, but not likely. This would be very similar to one that I've given her before myself. It's these medications that we have in the Fleet right now that are the problem. All we really have left are the less desirable mixtures," Salik explained. "In fact, the scientists on the Science Ship were using this bacteria to test new medications. We have narrowed the cause down in the past centar and suspect that Lieutenant Starbuck touched something he shouldn't have when he was there yesterday."

"Since he's sick himself I'm sure that's lesson enough," Caphis shook his head. "He sounds like he should be living on our ship instead of yours."

"Except your children learn their lessons," Salik chuckled at his friend's quip.

"Isn't it well past your bed time, Doctor?" Caphis inquired with a smile.

"Go back to bed, Caphis," Salik chuckled again and cut off the connection.

Caphis turned off his comm and collapsed into a nearby chair.

"Sleep, what a plan."

<><><><><><><><><><>

Starbuck shifted around in his sleep, his hand feeling around over the empty space on the bed next to him. With his hand gripping the bed sheet he was startled from his sleep. With a sigh his head settled back onto the pillow and he stretched himself out to fill the bed. Assuming Athena had long gone back to her own room Starbuck closed his eyes and burrowed into the pillow and began to drift back to sleep. As the darkness began to steal over his senses the low tones of someone outside his room seeped into his consciousness.

"...Athena is dead," he heard in a hushed tone.

The darkness that was about to steal over him abruptly receded and in its wake was a heart stopping darkness that he had grown all too accustomed too over the past yahren. It was the dark, blank that came the moment you realize that you had lost a piece of your world. It wasn't too different than the hole you might find in a worn, but well loved blanket.

You sleep cycle after cycle encircled by the fabric, eventually the fabric becomes your guardian against the cold and the bad dreams, then suddenly there is place for the cold to seep in and the bad dreams to escape. But the blanket has served you well so you spend time mending those little holes and continue to use the blanket in the vulnerable moments. Life at war with the Cylons was like that blanket. One by one people would disappear from your squadron or your ship. But sometimes the holes didn't appear slowly and they couldn't be mended. Starbuck had experienced that twice in his life.

The first was when he lost his family and he became an orphan, the second was when the Destruction occurred.

Instead of mending the holes he had started a whole new blanket. The first time he had been a little child and actually forgot what had kept him safe and warm for the first few yahrens of his life. This time he grasped the blanket so tightly that it tore apart forcing him to build a whole new life. Again, he forgot the life that had come before, or at least he tried.

Over the past sectars pieces of the old fabric of his life floated past, just beyond his reach, reminding him of the life that had gone before.

Aurora

Chameleon

Carybdis

Now Athena.

As his heart pounded beneath his breast the memories he had pushed away all those sectars ago as he stormed out of the locker room came back in a rush.

A laugh.

The feel of soft skin.

A scent.

The tickle of hair.

A surge of desire.

The rush of affection.

Unbidden, tears streamed down Starbuck's hot cheeks falling on the blanket clutched in his trembling hands.

The sound of his name caught his attention.

"Starbuck...bacteria from the Science Ship..." another voice said.

"No!" Starbuck howled into the darkness.

"Lieutenant? Are you all right?" one of the voices came closer in the darkness.

"No!" he exclaimed as his forced his body through the thickness that surrounded him.

"You have to stay in bed," the voice told him.

Ignoring the hands trying to hold him back he stood up.

"Where do you think you're going?" Cassiopeia asked him.

Cassi! She would understand.

"Athena," he turned towards her voice and forced himself to see her.

"Are you having a bad dream?" Cassi took over for the other med tech and placed her hands on Starbuck's arms.

"Show me Athena," Starbuck clutched her hands and pled with her.

"Maybe he's delirious?"

"He must have had a bad dream," Cassi disagreed with her co-worker, he wasn't feeling warm enough.

"Hand me that blanket," she asked.

Distantly, Starbuck could feel Cassi pulled the blanket around his shoulders.

A few centons later he found himself standing by Athena's bedside.

"She's...she's alive," Starbuck felt lightheaded.

With a worried frown on her face she pressed Starbuck's unresisting body onto a chair and knelt down in front of him.

"I thought she was dead. I thought I killed her," Starbuck's tears were still slipping unheeded down his cheek. Now they were a cleansing relief.

"That must have been some dream," Cassi smiled up at him as she brushed his cheeks and took him into her embrace.

"It wasn't a dream. When everything else died I killed her," he said nonsensically, at least it seemed that way to Cassiopeia.

"You should be resting. Let's get you back to bed," Cassi stood up.

"No, I won't be able to sleep," Starbuck took a deep, cleansing breath and leaned back on the chair. The trembling in his body began to recede and he grabbed hold of the present. "Just let me stay here for a bit?" A charming smile accompanied his request.

Either Cassi was eased by the characteristic expression or she recognized the stubborn set of his chin. In either case she nodded and promised that she would give him ten centons and then she would be back to take him back to his room.

As soon as he heard the door closing behind him, Starbuck moved forward in the chair and let the blanket drop down his back. With a compulsion he couldn't begin to explain his right hand reached out and clasped Athena's arm. The feel of her hot skin shot through him and warmed his entire body.

Not letting go, but smoothly enough not to awaken her, Starbuck stood and settled onto the bed next to her.

Even in the semi-darkness Starbuck could see Athena's face clearly. What his eyes could not see his memory filled in. What his hands didn't touch it remembered. What his lips didn't press against, his tongue could still taste. What he had never had, his imagination supplied.

How had he allowed himself to forget? Why had he made himself forget?

So as to not endure what he had endured only ten centons ago.

But now he had and it wasn't real and now he could remember. Everything. Including the past yahren where he had done all he could to avoid his biggest terror - loving and losing. But this time it was supplemented by regrets. A yahren of regrets.

Or perhaps more time than that?

A smile broke through as he remembered one cycle not too long before the Destruction.

<<Flaunting regulations, of course, Starbuck had pulled together a pyramid game in the Red Squadron barracks. Feigning duty, or illness, he couldn't remember what excuse he had used, Starbuck had broken a date with Athena. A centar later, feeling as if he had gotten away with something, making sure no one who might tell Athena saw him Starbuck made his way to the Red Squadron barracks.

Rubbing his hands together in anticipation of trying out his new system. This one, he was sure, couldn't fail. He had been working on it for sectars. Just that day during patrol he was sure he had figured out the piece that had been alluding him. That was why he was so impatient that he canceled his date and scheduled the game instead.

When he entered the Barracks he smelled the scent of Boomer's special fumarellos and his grin widened. Patting his pocket of cubits Starbuck made his way towards the hidden corner of the barracks and announced his arrival.

"About time Starbuck, thought you might have canceled on us."

Starbuck's steps faltered and his composure broke. Then his eyes widened.

Obviously well into play, Athena was sitting at the table with a perfect pyramid in her palms and one of Boomer's special fumarellos hanging out of the side of her mouth.

Unable to resist the cards, Starbuck moved closer. Excited, jealous and panicked at all the same time, Starbuck looked at the cards and then at Athena.

Athena looked up at him.

On her face was his impish grin, complete with a fumarello. It was her rosy cheeks and her sparkling eyes that assured him that he wasn't looking at himself. That and the decidedly feminine hands holding the most beautiful cards he had ever seen. Heck, the entire package was beautiful.

An answering smile broke across his face before he threw his head back and laughed. He bet she didn't even have a system.

>>

How had he forgotten times like that with her? He had almost never canceled a date with her after that just to gamble.

"Time to get back to bed," Cassi's voice interrupted. "Glad to see you're looking more relaxed."

Feeling Cassi's professional, yet personal, touch on his shoulders he didn't feel relaxed, except that now the rioting in his stomach wasn't due to any microscopic life form. No, this was caused by fear. Now that his life before the Destruction had suddenly forced its way out of his subconscious, he was afraid to look at the new.

Refusing to give in the fears he could articulate, Starbuck forced himself to turn around and look at Cassi. So he looked at the woman who was such a large part of his life and had been since his old life had fell apart. As he tenderly studied her features. The endless IFB and military lectures on grief and post-traumatic stress. In truth, he realized, she had been a healer long before she donned the white robe. She had healed him in a way that he knew no one and nothing else could have.

Cassi had been the one person who had the capacity to provide Starbuck with the lightness he needed to deal with the losses without drowning. While everyone else was caught up in trying to rise above the choking depths of their own grief, Cassi's life had actually been made better by the Destruction. Once Starbuck saved her she was able to put the stigma of being a socialator behind her and become a person with a respectable career. And despite her oft-repeated avowals regarding the noble nature of her former career she hadn't returned to it when given the option. What a grand life she could have had on the Rising Star amongst the rich and infamous. And yet, her training had served them well. She knew just what he had needed. They had saved each other.

But was there more to the relationship than that? Was there really forever?

The memory of their encounter before he left for the baseship slid into his mind and slapped him in the face. But before he could give it any more thought he found himself being pressed down onto his bed and Cassi was out the door.

Letting his head sink into the cushion, Starbuck closed his eyes and let exhaustion turn his racing mind off.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Where's Cassi?" Starbuck asked the Med Tech who arrived early in the first cycle to give him a control shot.

"She's off duty now. This shot should take care of this within the next centar. They isolated the bacteria and found out how it was spread," Mairi, one of the med techs, said matter-of-factly.

"Oh?" Starbuck swallowed and smiled weakly.

"Doctor Wilker is trying to get you banned from the Science ship," she told him.

"Ah, oh," Starbuck cleared his throat, remembering the innocuous looking containers he had knocked off a table in a lab on the Science Ship when he was waiting for Cassi a couple of days ago. A lab he wasn't supposed to be in and containers he should have been inspecting, come to that.

"Does Cass know?" he asked.

"Yes, she found out while you were still asleep and she didn't want to wake you until the shot was ready," she told him.

"Has it been given to Athena?" he asked.

"Yes, she should be fine in a few centars," Mairi assured him.

"It'll take longer because she was sicker?" he asked.

"Because she was earlier into the symptoms and because of the allergic reaction to the first shot her symptoms were more severe, but she'll be fine," Maira told him.

"You, uh, wouldn't happen to know how the bacteria is transmitted?" Starbuck asked a centon later.

"Through bodily fluids, it's not airborne," Mairi looked at him meaningfully.

"So when can I get sprung?" he asked.

"I'll check you in a centar and if you're clean I'll kick you out," she smiled at the man she too had once had a few dates with.

"Great," he sighed and flopped back onto the bed. "Might as well take advantage of the rest while I can then."

<><><><><><><><><><>

"I hear you're going to go free soon," Apollo walked into his wingmate's room. "And I hear that there's some wonderings about how my sister managed to catch this from you."

Starbuck cleared his throat, but for once didn't make any wiseass remarks. It was the Commander's daughter and Apollo's sister they were referring to.

"So, are you planning to tell me how this happened?" Apollo seemed calm.

"Not really," Starbuck said hopefully. At Apollo's dark look he sighed. "Cassi probably figured it out."

"Figured out what?" Apollo prompted.

"I kissed Athena at Boomer's party," Starbuck finally admitted.

"Why?" Apollo asked.

Starbuck looked at his friend in askance.

"Why?" Starbuck repeated. "Aren't you going to threaten to demote me or something?"

"Of all the things I could have demoted you for do you really think I would demote you because you kissed my sister?" Apollo snorted.

"It wouldn't be the first time," Starbuck reminded him with a grin.

"Starbuck," Apollo became serious. "I meant it when I apologized for misjudging you. What you do about or with my sister is between the two of you. Of course, if you hurt her I will kill you."

Starbuck's grin faded and he looked away.

"What's wrong?" Apollo asked.

"I've already hurt her and Cass," Starbuck admitted.

"What are you going to do about it?" Apollo asked.

"Hope to hades she'll forgive me," Starbuck said.

"Which one?" Apollo asked.

"Both," Starbuck replied.

"Then what?" Apollo asked.

"I'll volunteer for some damn fool mission," Starbuck snorted. "You didn't happen to bring me a uniform did you?"

<><><><><><><><><><>

"I want to see Athena first," Apollo told Starbuck as he led his fully dressed wingmate out of his former detention cell.

"I'll meet you there then," Starbuck glanced down the corridor nervously.

"It'll only take a centon," Apollo cajoled.

"I'll wait out here then," Starbuck straightened his jacket. It wasn't like he was in that much of a rush to leave the relative safety of the quarantine section of the Life Center. Cass still hadn't come to see him, but Starbuck knew from her coworkers that she had already come on duty that cycle.

"I'm not going to force you," Apollo told him before entering his sister's room.

Starbuck looked at the door Apollo disappeared behind for a centon before letting out a puff air and leaning back against the wall. Starbuck closed his eyes and leaned his head back. In a few centons he was going to have to face Cassiopeia and no amount of cajoling or rascally grins were going to be enough to make up to her his betrayal. The fact that his kissing Athena was a betrayal wasn't something he would try and deny. Not this time and not now. He and Cass had been through too much and they had agreed not to see other people and here he was kissing someone else. And thinking about someone else, a lot.

"Starbuck, are you all right?"

"Sure, oh hi Boxey," Starbuck opened his eyes and looked down at Apollo's son.

"I was afraid you were still sick," Boxey craned his neck to look up at his favorite "uncle."

"Nah, just waiting for your father to finish talking to your Aunt Athena," Starbuck grinned.

"Yeah, they're talking about something," Boxey shrugged. "I wanted to introduce you to Noah, Noah this is my friend Starbuck."

"Hello," Noah looked up at the warrior, his eyes wide with awe.

Starbuck looked down at the blue-eyed, blond-haired boy looking up at him with a curious eyes. "So, this is the boy that seemed to have captured Athena's heart," he thought to himself.

"Hi Noah, nice to meet you," Starbuck knelt down and shook the boy's hand.

"I've seen you play Triad, we always root for your team," Noah shook his hand formally.

"I've been teaching Noah multiplication," Boxey interjected.

"That will come in handy when you're adding up your pyramid winnings," Starbuck winked at Boxey who he had taught to play the game when his father wasn't looking.

"I don't know how to play pyramid," Noah's face dropped and he looked disappointed.

"I could teach you. I taught Boxey here and you couldn't find a better teach than me. Right kid?" Starbuck asked Boxey for confirmation.

"Nope, everyone says that Starbuck is a great player, although they don't trust his systems much," Boxey sort of endorsed the warrior.

"Would you really teach me to play pyramid?" Noah's mouth widened into an "o."

"Sure, why not," Starbuck shrugged.

"When?" Noah asked. "You could come visit with Athena when she's all better?"

Starbuck paused for a moment. "Or I could come myself so that we can concentrate. Boxey could come with me," Starbuck suggested.

"Sure, I can give you a few pointers too," Boxey nodded.

"Cool!" Noah shook Starbuck's hand again.

Starbuck suddenly felt lighter being the recipient of the little boy's uncomplicated exuberance. "Now I understand what has Athena so enthralled," he thought to himself.

"Listen, as soon as my mean boss here gives me some time off I'll grab Boxey and we'll, uh, do you know what," Starbuck winked conspiratorially and then looked up at Apollo with an innocent expression on his face.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you loose on a ship full of children just waiting for you to corrupt them," Apollo stuck his hands on his hips and looked at his friend knowingly.

"Certainly not, that's why Boxey is chaperoning. "Don't worry about him, I know how to get around him," Starbuck chuckled and placed his hand on Noah's hand and ruffled the child's hair.

"We'll watch out for him," Caphis came up behind Starbuck.

"Can I still go inside?" Caphis asked after the men had finished greeting each other.

"She's a bit tired, but she was still awake when I left a few centons ago," Apollo assured him.

"Let's go say goodbye to Athena, we have to get back for classes," Caphis took Noah's hand.

"Starbuck is going to come visit me," Noah told Caphis excitedly about his new friend.

"That's great. You're welcome anytime Lieutenant. Let me warn you though, you have quite a following among the Triad fans," Caphis said.

"So Noah was telling me," Starbuck preened.

"I'm sure he can handle the attention," Apollo said dryly.

"How is she?" Starbuck asked quietly after Caphis and Noah entered Athena's room.

"A lot better than she was when I found her earlier," Apollo looked at Starbuck meaningfully.

Starbuck just looked at Apollo for a few microns before, certain he had understood his friend correctly. So Apollo had found Athena in his bed. He supposed it could have been worse. He could have found them in bed back when something could have been going on. Or Cassi could have found them.

At the thought of Cassi and Athena he tensed.

"I left something in my room. I'll go get it and meet you in the Rejuvenation Center," Starbuck told them before rushing back down the corridor. He arrived at Athena's door just as Caphis and Noah were exiting. After taking a few microns to say a proper goodbye to the little boy and his chaperone and to reaffirm his commitment to visit, Starbuck entered Athena's room.

"You look terrible!" Starbuck exclaimed when he saw Athena's pale, drawn face.

"What happened to your womanizing skills?" Athena asked tiredly, but with a trace of humor.

"Are you kidding? I seem to have left them in the last sector of space we visited," Starbuck snorted and sat himself down on Athena's bedside.

"You obviously didn't come in her to look at my beautiful face, so why are you here?" Athena asked after shifting uncomfortably in response to his nearness.

"Cassi knows," he said quietly. "I thought I should warn you. It's the least I could do."

Athena closed her eyes and lay silently for a centon.

"What am I supposed to say to her?" she finally opened her eyes and asked.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to say to her," Starbuck admitted.

"Of all the permutations of our future I ever imagined, this wasn't one of them," Athena told him.

"Me either. What did you imagine?" Starbuck asked.

"Don't worry, you lived in some of them," Athena answered evasively with a shrug. "What did you imagine?"

"Well," Starbuck drawled and lifted an eyebrow lecherously.

"I had to ask," Athena laughed.

"I like it when you laugh," Starbuck said in a abruptly serious tone.

"That's not going to help here," Athena said.

"Sorry, it's kind of how we ended up here," Starbuck agreed.

"I promised myself I wasn't going to ask this, but why did we end up here?" Athena picked at her blanket and avoided looking Starbuck in the face.

Starbuck watched her hand, seemingly mesmerized by its mechanical movements. After a few centons he shook himself out of the trance-like state and looked into her face.

"You don't just mean the kiss do you?" he asked.

"No, I guess I don't," Athena admitted.

A few microns later, when Starbuck didn't seem able to answer Athena held her hand up, her palm facing him. "Forget it. It doesn't matter. I really hate that you put me in this position. I can't even face her. Talk about turn about," Athena laughed with a tinge of bitterness this time.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Starbuck said.

"You make it really hard for me to be your friend sometimes," Athena said sadly.

"I know I do. It didn't used to be like this did it? It used to be easy between us," Starbuck said.

"Yeah, it did," Athena nodded, her eyes full of remembering of what it was that had led them to this place. The Destruction and rebuffed proposals made out of desperation.

"I never told that I did love you. I heard you telling Apollo that you thought I never did, but I did. I'm sorry I didn't say it," Starbuck said.

"Me too," Athena said as tears filled her eyes and threatened to spill over onto her cheeks.

Starbuck felt his chest tighten at the world of regret he saw reflected back at him in Athena's eyes.

"I'm going to talk to her now, I'll make her understand this wasn't your fault. I forced myself on you," Starbuck stood up and distanced himself from Athena and her reflected pain.

Athena just nodded and looked away.

Starbuck stood looking at her silently for a moment. "I always run away, don't I?" he asked himself before he turned and left.

<><><><><><><><><><>
[Rejuvenation Center]

"I thought Starbuck was being let out?" Sheba asked Apollo.

"He had to take care of something. He'll probably meet us here," Apollo told his girlfriend. He looked around the room before leaning over and pressing a kick kiss against her cheek. He smiled wider as he recognized the amused grin on her face as being due to his restrained public greeting. Well, he figured, she could be amused since his private greeting was a lot more...exuberant.

"Cassi came to see me before she went on duty," Sheba wasn't smiling when she told Apollo that bit of information in an undertone.

"What did she say?" Apollo asked.

"That they discovered where the infection was caused by and where it likely came from and how that particular organism isn't airborne. She isn't too happy with your friend right now and I can't say I blame her. Not that I blame Athena either, I know she genuinely likes Jack. What a mess," Sheba shook her head.

"Things around Starbuck usually are messy," Apollo observed.

"So Starbuck really kissed her?" Sheba asked.

"Yeah, he did," Apollo confirmed.

"I really thought that he and Cassi would make it work," Sheba was disappointed.

"Do you think she would have chosen Starbuck over Cain if Cain hadn't made her leave the Pegasus?" Apollo asked softly, keeping a keen eye on Sheba's reaction to his bringing up her father. He was relieved of his worry a few microns later when it appeared that Sheba was glad to be able to discuss her missing father.

"No offense to Starbuck, but I don't see how she could. But nonetheless, they have been together ever since and it was serious, at least for Cassi," Sheba looked at Apollo questioningly.

"I never saw Starbuck this serious before, but I think we both know how unfair I've been in the past," Apollo said.

"Your sister didn't realize he was as serious as you think he was either. Maybe he's just running scared from commitment and your sister was handy?" Sheba conjectured.

"It's possible, but..." Apollo shook his head as he watched Boxey play scurry with a friend. "I just have this..this feeling that Starbuck isn't as over Athena as he would like us to believe. You didn't see his expression or hear his voice when we were arguing about her. He might be scared, but he wasn't too scared to make it and he wouldn't so cavalierly break a commitment he's made."

"Do you really do believe he still loves Athena or do you just feel guilty for spoiling things for them?" Sheba asked.

"No," Apollo shook his head confidently.

Sheba studied him for a moment.

"Then we might have a bigger mess than I anticipated," she finally said.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Breathing. The loud sound of breathing.

Scenery was rushing by too fast to be able to tell what it was.

Fear. Terror.

"Mamma," the young voice cried out. "Mamma, where are you Mamma?"

Suddenly the scene slowed.

Destruction. Metal shards. Broken glass.

Blood flowing from small feet onto the mess.

A flash of blond hair.

"Mamma? Papa? Where are you?"

A glimpse of blue eyes filled with tears and terror.

Athena woke up with a gasp.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"That's okay, I feel terrible," Athena shrugged back at him. "Did you meet Noah?"

"Yeah, he's a great kid. Really cute and smart," Starbuck nodded.

"He really is. He's so amazing. Sometimes I have to remind myself that he's only five yahrens old," her eyes sparkled as she looked at Starbuck. "He's been through so much, all of the children have. I feel guilty, but I have to admit he's my favorite. There's just something about him."

Starbuck took in Athena's glowing face. Even in the darkened room he could see the animation that talking about the little orphan boy brought to her face. "He has your eyes," Starbuck's own blue eyes widened at the words. That was not what he had intended to say.

Athena looked at him in surprise. "Funny you should say that," she looked down at her hands.

"Well, not all that funny," Starbuck grimaced. "What do you mean?"

"You'll laugh at me," she peered up at him from under her lashes.

"I'm wearing a dress and you're worried about me laughing at you?" Starbuck picked at his covering.

Athena raised her eyebrows appreciatively as she took in his appearance. "You know I should feel like murdering you," she shook her head.

"I am a charmer," he winked. "Tell me what you're thinking," he encouraged her. When she was too embarrassed to tell him, the master of schemes and plans, what was on her mind, he knew it was going to be good.

"I've been thinking about adopting Noah," she said softly. "I know it seems crazy," she looked at him, her face completely serious. "We've only known each other a few sectons, but from the first micron I saw him..." she trailed off, unable to explain the deep attachment she felt from the moment she looked at his face. "He slipped his hand into mine and I melted," she chuckled. "I know I sound like I fell in love, but in a way I have. Do you think I'm crazy?"

Starbuck sat back in his chair, for the first time since he entered the room feeling each and every ache in his body. Briefly he amused himself with the idea that she was just delirious from the fever she was still suffering from. Adoption? As with any orphan, the word resonated very deeply within him. Starbuck himself had never been adopted, mainly, he had come to admit, because he had feared the rejection so much, he had made himself as disagreeable as possible with every prospective parent. Still, a part of him felt the same twist of jealousy inside that he had felt when another of his peers would begin packing his meager belongings.

Athena adopting, he brought his mind firmly back to the present. The idea was so unexpected that he didn't know what to say. Somehow she had always remained a young girl in his eyes, despite the obvious physical attributes that had begun to attract him when she had arrived on board yahrens ago. He studied her now as if she were a stranger. There were shadows in her eyes that he had never noticed before. Shadows everyone who had survived the Destruction exhibited. Yet, in his mind, Athena had always remained untouched by the events. Even her features were different than the image imprinted in his mind. The features of her face were leaner and more mature. Even in the middle of the night cycle and ill, she held herself with a grace and confidence that he had somehow missed the development of. To him she was still the rash young girl who chased after "her man" in competition with Cass.

'That was practically a yahren ago,' he realized. So was she crazy? Was she using a little boy to fill a void in her life? How could he know, he couldn't even say if he knew her anymore. The realization shook him to the bone. Suddenly the peace her presence brought him seemed threatened.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"But you are not cleared for duty yet. And if I hear that you're doing something you shouldn't, I'll have you brought right back here. You still need to rest and recover, mostly from the allergic reaction. One more day young lady, promise me," Doctor Salik ordered.

"Yes, Doctor," Athena barely stopped herself from standing at attention at the militant tone.

"You understand that your father will have both our heads if you have a relapse," Salik continued to try and impress upon the sometimes reckless young woman the importance of resting.

"I know, he told me when he visited earlier," Athena agreed and was relieved when Salik had little more to say before setting her free.

"Athena, may I speak to you for a centon before you leave?"

Cassiopeia.

Athena had been dreading this meeting for centars. She hoped that the "meeting" wouldn't turn into a "confrontation." Despite her preparation, Athena didn't feel anymore prepared for this than she had been for Starbuck's seduction in the Officer's Club. Nodding her assent Athena followed Cassi into an empty office.

"Starbuck told me what happened. I haven't asked you to talk so that I can lay blame or punish you, but we need to clear this up between us in order to move on," Cassiopeia said without preface once they were alone. "I just have one question. Did you kiss him to get back at me for stealing him from you?"

"What?" Athena's jaw dropped in shock.

"I didn't think so, but I wanted you to be certain of it too. Starbuck told me that he kissed you, I don't hold you responsible. Of course, Jack might not let you off so easily, but we stopped letting Starbuck come between us a long time ago," Cassi said.

"Cass, I wasn't completely...unmoved," Athena flushed as she confessed.

"I'm not surprised, I find myself moved by the man quite a bit myself," Cassi sounded philosophical.

"I truly am sorry Cassi," Athena said earnestly.

"I know you are. Starbuck is too. I believe you," Cassi said.

"Can you forgive him?" Athena asked.

"I can forgive him," Cassi responded.

"But?" Athena prompted.

"I also understand him," Cassi said cryptically. "Starbuck and I will work things out. Don't worry on my account."

"For what it's worth I admire you. I don't think I could be as understanding," Athena offered.

"But you were," Cassi said quietly.

"I know a certain steam purge victim who says otherwise," Athena said with a raised eyebrow and a cynical smile before turning and leaving.

"So who gets burned this time?" Cassi asked the closing door.

<><><><><><><><><><>
[2 Days Later
Cassiopeia's Quarters]

"Stop," Cassiopeia held a hand up. "I said I'm not ready to talk to you."

"Will you at least listen to me then?" Starbuck pleaded.

"Go ahead," Cassi sat down on in the chair, leaving Starbuck no chance of sitting next to her.

"I want to know how you feel," Starbuck paused meaningfully, convinced that if he asked to discuss "feelings" she'd see how important she was to him. She didn't take the bait. "But I'll tell you how I feel instead."

"Why don't you do that Starbuck. That's what I've spent the last couple of days trying to figure out," Cassi said.

"I can see why you might question how much I care about you and how serious I am about the commitment we made to not see other people, but I want you to know that you don't have to worry. What happened with Athena at the party was an aberration, probably due to illness, and I don't mean that as a joke," he was trying to be completely sincere. "I can't explain it, but it won't happen again."

"How can you promise it won't happen again if you don't even understand what made you do it?" Cassi asked gently.

Flushing Starbuck turned away.

"Were there any others?" Cassi asked.

"No one but Athena and I also kissed her before she went on that mission the other day," he confessed quietly. He hadn't told her earlier when he had confessed to the kiss at Boomer's party and it had been bothering his conscience ever since. So now there were two physical encounters with Athena he couldn't explain and both were a lot more than mere kissing. Shamefully, he felt the burning of arousal in the pit of his stomach as he thought about it now.

"Twice," Cassi's eyes narrowed.

"Do you still love her?" Cassi asked.

"Love Athena?" Starbuck hedged.

"She loves you you know," Cassi said almost conversationally. "I can see that you did."

"That doesn't mean I...I...feel the same way," Starbuck said sharply. "You know that I love you."

"You care about me a great deal, I know that. I know that you love me, but I don't know if you love me in the same way as you love her. There's a lot of history there Starbuck and I haven't forgotten how it was when we got together," Cassi had stood up while she was speaking and she was now standing close to Starbuck looking into his eyes. Close enough that her stiff tan dress touched his uniform where it flared out at the bottom.

"You want me right now," Cassi whispered huskily. "I could touch you and make you make love to me now." So saying Cassi reached out and slid her hand to cup Starbuck's neck. His nostrils flared as he took in her scent. A tear slid down Cassi cheek as she pressed her lips against his and initiated a soul searching kiss.

Starbuck's hands came around her body and pressed her hips against his arousal.

"Pretend I'm her, pretend I'm Athena," Cassi ordered into his mouth.

Starbuck gasped as Cassi pulled his hair to urge him to comply.

Eyes closed, Starbuck's hands skimmed up her back. His hips moved restlessly against hers. Her fingers slid under his tunic and over the bare skin of his back causing him to shiver.

Abruptly Cassi pushed him away.

"Get out!" she turned away as she ordered.

Starbuck stood looking at her back as he swallowed convulsively and searched for something to say. Finding nothing Starbuck obliged her request and left.

Cassi's shoulders shook as soon as the door could be heard closing.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Nice sight," Caphis observed.

"Usually, yes," Rette said to the man who had come up behind her as she watched Athena read to the children, with Noah plastered to her side.

"I hate to see him go too," Caphis understood.

<><><><><><><><><><>
[Next day]

"So how long has it been since you've spoken to Cassi?" Apollo's voice came over the comm.

"Since I was released from the Life Center," Starbuck admitted, squirming uncomfortably in his viper.

"Three days I guess. She's been spending a lot of time at the Science Ship," Starbuck excused lamely. "Have you talked to her?"

"No, but Sheba has," Apollo admitted. "Did you know she spoke to Athena about what happened?"

"No, but I'm not surprised. What did Cass tell Sheba," Starbuck asked.

"Sheba wouldn't tell me, she just said that Cassi wanted some time to think," Apollo was apologetic.

"Can't say I blame her," Starbuck mumbled.

"So how do you feel?" Apollo asked.

"I've been fine for days," Starbuck was confused.

"Not physically. What are you going to do about Cassi and Athena," Apollo asked.

"I'm going to wait until Cassi...I don't know, I don't know what to do," Starbuck sighed.

"Which one do you love?" Apollo asked.

"I...I don't know," Starbuck admitted.

"You should figure it out before Cassi is ready to speak to you again. Have you talked with Athena?" Apollo asked.

"Athena. I think she still loves me," Starbuck felt the words out on his tongue. Did he really believe that? It was one thing to say it to Athena, it was another to feel it deep in his bones. His self confidence didn't go that deep, not about being loved for himself. She had once, but did she still or was he seeing something that wasn't there? Maybe it was actually pity in her eyes? Apollo could be wrong about his sister, it wouldn't be the first time.

"Talk to her," Apollo urged.

Starbuck calibrated his scans as he considered Apollo's advice. He needed to find out if Athena loved him and the only way to do that was to talk to the woman herself.

"And if she does?" he asked himself, but he had no answer.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"Have a good sleep Tiren," Athena wished the man who was just getting off the communications console.

"Thanks Athena. Things have been pretty quiet. Starbuck and Apollo are on patrol. Long range starts next cycle," he advised.

"Thanks Tiren," she hooked her headphones into the panel. "Who's on the roster for long range this time?"

"Boomer and Jolly and Dietra and Brie. Then Sheba and Bojay and Starbuck and Apollo. Two cycles each patrol, at least," Tigh answered.

"We enter the new system ourselves in...another day," Athena studied the data on her screen. "Hiller and Prina are also out now, I see."

"We doubled up because we're so close to the new system," Tigh confirmed.

Athena nodded and turned her concentration to making sure the scans were still properly calibrated and towards the active patrols's communications.

"Nothing to report here from Blue Patrol One," Athena heard Apollo's voice in her ear.

"Good to hear, Captain," Athena told her brother.

"Good to hear you as well, Lieutenant," Apollo responded.

"I'm receiving your scan data now," she confirmed. "All parameters within normal. Three more centars scheduled. See you on the home side."

"Oh brother," everyone on the bridge heard Starbuck mumble before signing off in response to Athena's use of pilot jargon.

"Good job keeping the pilots' spirits up, Lieutenant," Commander Adama called out to the amusement of the bridge crew.

Athena grinned, but didn't respond.

End Chapter 5
To Chapter 6
Back to Athenafic
Back to Slashfic