Rated: NC17 for adult themes, sexual situations and violence

Classification: A, R, Slash

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You look for mercy and a meaning somewhere,
but you know that the hurting won't go till you walk through
the fire.
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Chapter 2 - Walking
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[First Cycle]

Athena debarked from the shuttle into the shuttle bay of the Orphan Ship. She was feeling a bit nervous about this new undertaking, apart from the reasons behind the sudden, almost impetuous, commitment. Athena took a deep breath as she looked around the empty, gray shuttle waiting room where Caphis had promised to meet her and take her on a tour of the ship. In addition to her nervousness she was saddened by the lack of visitors to the children's ship. The quiet was in stark contrast to the noisy, busyness of other ships. It also cemented her decision to do this, regardless of the reasons that had led her there.

"Athena," a male voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned towards it.

'Lords,' she thought as she caught sight of Caphis. His comm image did not do him justice. "Yes, hello Caphis," she held her hand out to shake his in greeting.

Within a split micron she found her hand ignored and herself in the man's satisfying embrace.

"Welcome!" Caphis smiled broadly and Athena found herself smiling back. The man's cheer was infectious. "Not to mention captivating, attractive and gorgeous," Athena felt herself flush as she practically peeled her body from his large frame and looked up into his deep, brown eyes.

"Thank you," Athena said breathlessly, resisting the urge to run her fingers through his thick dark hair. Though it was clipped fairly short she was sure it was as silky as it looked.

"You look nervous. Don't be, they're just children. I understand you're a teacher on the Galactica," Caphis voice sounded even warmer than his eyes looked.

"I am, I'm just worried you won't be able to find anything for me to do," Athena admitted.

"And you have some personal reasons for wanting to do this that you feel guilty about," Caphis said perceptively.

"Do I have a sign on my head?" Athena gave a nervous laugh.

"No," Caphis laughed. "I've seen it a lot. People feel the need to escape their own problems or just want to do a good deed to make up for some guilt. Believe me, you won't give it a second thought after you meet them and of course we'll find something you can do," Caphis assured her. "Even if you just spend time with them and show you care it will be appreciated. You don't have to teach or be a doctor or anything. Actually, it's the largest need we have here. Under the circumstance, the children have a hard time learning that they deserve love and trusting people. Then they'll only feel like outsiders once they leave the orphanage environment. It was bad enough on the Colonies, it's much more important within our insular society. And the losses and dangers they deal with here in the Fleet are magnified as well."

Athena nodded solemnly in understanding.

"Let me show you around. I know you said you had been here before, but there is more to see than the Captain's office and the bridge," Caphis assured her. "Follow me," he instructed.

Athena followed in the tall man's wake.

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"A majority of the children here are from the orphanages on the Colonies. Some, however, were orphaned during the Destruction or during our journey. You'll find that those children have had a harder time adjusting and demand the most attention. We've been fortunate to have some mental health professionals working with us, but what they need most is dependable adults to give them attention," Caphis explained as they made their way through the dormitories.

"And that's where I'll come in," Athena said absently as she took in the living conditions. The former storage ship had been transformed into a warm environment, something she was sure this warm man had a big hand in. The large space had been divided by real and improvised walls. They were now touring rooms that housed six to eight children who slept on bunk beds that were covered with bright colored blankets. The formerly gray walls were hung with childish drawings and sections of it were even painted over with pastel colors and designs.

"We make an effort to give each child a space in the room that is all their own, to share or not share as they like and to store their possessions. Children on the top bunk 'own' the walls around them and the children on the bottom have the space between the beds. Then there are the chests, dressers, desks and just about anything else we can get that each child has exclusive use of to store their clothes and toys. The rest is all communal," Caphis explained as they wandered though the presently uninhabited rooms.

As she followed and listened, Athena's mind was also working out what kinds of materials and furniture she could find and donate.

"Are the sleeping quarters in the middle of the ship to protect them from attack?" she asked.

"Yes, that's correct. As much as I would like to give them a view of the outside it wouldn't be very safe. It might also remind them too much of their situation since we never get sunlight of green skies," Caphis confirmed as he led her into the kitchen area.

"I hope the food is better here than on the Galactica," she whispered.

"You'll find our cooks to be much more imaginative than military cooks," Caphis said loudly, complimenting the people who were already busy preparing for the mid-cycle meal. "Everyone, this is

Athena, she's volunteered to spend time with the children."

Athena returned greetings as Caphis continued to point out the various stations.

"You don't happen to cook do you?" he asked her.

"Something edible?" she asked jokingly. "Actually, I can. My mother taught me, but don't tell anyone. I try to avoid Mess Duty at all costs. No one wants Mess Duty on a battlestar," Athena explained.

"Well, it's not so bad here. Are you ready to meet the children? I think you would do well with the younger children for now, unless you have a different preference?" he asked.

"No, not at all. I love young children," she said.

"Well then, let's go," Caphis put his arm around her back and led her into the door to the education area.

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"You've been uncharacteristically quiet," Starbuck began to speak over the communications channel between the two vipers. "So either you had a really great night with Sheba and are tired, which I highly doubt of you my overly gentlemanly friend, or there's something on your mind that you're just dying to share with me but don't know how to say. Probably about something I've done."

"No one could accuse you of not being observant when you want to," Apollo said sarcastically.

"Ah, I see choice number two has won, and it's obviously something you're ticked off at me about. I can't think of what I've done lately so why don't you just tell me, I'll apologize and we won't have to endure an entire deep space probe where you refuse to speak to me," Starbuck told his wingmate.

"Why didn't you tell me you proposed to Athena after the Destruction?" Apollo said in a rush.

Even through the helm that covered most of his face it was easy to see that Starbuck was surprised by the turn of conversation. "She just told you that? Why?"

"No, Athena didn't see fit to mention it to me either," Apollo sounded slighted.

"So how in the world did you find out and why do you care now?" Starbuck himself sounded annoyed. "Wait, don't tell me, cushion talk with Sheba. Still, why do you bring it up now?"

Apollo ignored the comment about Sheba, but it took an effort. "Because now is just when I found out about it. It really makes me wonder..." Apollo trailed off meaningfully.

"Makes you wonder what?" Starbuck asked with a sigh, he knew that once Apollo got something in his head he wasn't going to let go of it just because it was pointless.

"Let me see, what's bothering me?" Apollo began what was clearly going to be a long recitation. "I wonder what else you haven't told me. I wonder just what went on between you and my sister? I wonder why you continued to date her after she turned you down. I wonder why you continued to flaunt Cassi in her face. I wonder why you've suddenly begun to hang out with Athena on your down time again. Come on Starbuck, what the frak am I supposed to think? You propose to my sister, she says no so you take Cassiopeia into a launch tube where Athena, a bridge officer with whom you've made a date, is sure to find you. Then you continue to pursue her and to bring Cassiopeia to every intimate family event or social gathering. At the time I thought you were just being your usual noncommittal self, but now I find out you proposed and I have to wonder if your actions weren't a bit more premeditated. If you intentionally used Cassi to hurt Athena because she turned you down. "

"I can't believe you'd even think I would purposefully hurt your sister that way! Not to mention Cassi!" Starbuck said furiously.

"Okay, you're right, maybe not purposefully, but maybe unconsciously?" Apollo said apologetically.

"Cut the felgercarb Apollo. If I think I need psychoanalysis I'll go down to a therapy room and have a friendly chat with one of the computer voices and get a nice nap on their velvety couches," Starbuck snapped.

"You seem to know a lot about those rooms," Apollo pointed out with amusement in his voice.

"Inspections. Anyway," Starbuck said quickly, " all of this stuff happened ages ago. Athena and I have moved on and I'm with Cass now, it doesn't matter anymore," Starbuck inhaled and then let out a calming breath. The relaxation techniques Cass taught him, however, were not working, the subject had him too keyed up. He almost wished for a Cylon raider to shoot down.

"Have you really moved on? Has she? She's my sister and you're my best friend and neither of you could bring yourself to talk to me about this!" Apollo practically shouted.

"Look, I know I moved on and I don't think your sister had all that far to go! I proposed, she turned me down. She didn't want to wait around until I got killed in the line of duty like Zac had. So I didn't make her wait around. So we casually enjoyed each other's company until we didn't enjoy it anymore. No big conspiracy. We had a good time together, we weren't getting sealed and we both were fine with that," Starbuck said.

"Were you really fine with that? You don't propose to every woman you go out with. It doesn't add up Starbuck," Apollo disagreed.

"Aren't you overdue for a sleep period or something?" Starbuck muttered loud enough for Apollo to hear. When his friend didn't respond Starbuck correctly surmised that he was waiting for an answer. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, okay, I promise to tell you everything from now on."

Starbuck's flippancy hit home. He wasn't sure exactly why this bit of news was bothering him so much. He did know that it made him feel slighted, but even more than that it made him feel like he had been blind to something important. Something that he now surmised had been painful for two people he cared about a great deal. In his way he couldn't help but question his understanding of Starbuck and Athena's relationship.

Apollo had been relieved when Athena and Starbuck broke it off and he had been even happier to see his best friend finally engaging in an adult relationship. Now, he wasn't sure how he should feel, but Starbuck was right it had been a long time ago now. Beside, badgering Starbuck wasn't going to get him anywhere. He might be more successful worming information out of his little sister?

"If you ever need to talk about anything, Bucko..." Apollo said sincerely.

"Yeah, I know Apollo. Not everything is as colony shattering as you seem to think," Starbuck sounded relieved and more than willing to forget the entire subject.

"Anything interesting on your scans?" Apollo changed the subject.

"Just some more planets and moons. Nothing looks habitable in this system yet. I wonder if Boomer and Jolly have found anything?" Starbuck slipped back into professional mode easily and let the conversation of the past few centons drift away.

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Athena sat on the large floor mat surrounded by a group of young children ranging from four to eight yahrens old. As many as could fit were cuddled up against her side and two were even sitting on her crossed legs, propped up by her arms as she read them a story.

"So what happened next 'thena?" a little boy named Noah, who was sitting on her lap, asked.

"Well, the brother and sister pushed the evil man into the cooking fire and ran out of the cabin. Suddenly the suns appeared and they found their way to a path out of the woods. When they emerged, they found themselves at the edge of their village. Overjoyed, they ran through the town until they reached their mother's store. Outside the window they cleaned away some dirt and peeked inside. Everything looked different."

"Confused, they backed up and looked at the sign. It still read 'Tatiana's Tomes' so they decided to go inside. Once inside they found that everything had been kept clean and straightened. There was no one behind the counter so they made their way cautiously to the back room."

Athena paused to look at the mesmerized faces peering up at her. She absently ruffled the hair of a little boy who had attached himself to her when she entered the room a few centars ago and hadn't left her side, even during the mid-cycle meal. She smiled to herself as she looked back down at the small screen she held in her hands.

"Once in the back room they found that all the mess and the dirt was gone. The windows were open and the sunshine and wind were blowing through the room. 'Are you sure this is the right place?' Rylo asked his sister. 'It must be,' Treza was just as scared as her brother. Suddenly someone entered the room. The siblings grabbed each other's hands, afraid it was their mother's evil husband. 'My babies!' the figure cried out and rushed over to her children. 'Where is he mama?' Treza asked their mother. 'He's gone, he's gone!' she told them. Overjoyed, the children hugged their mother. Now they knew they were home."

"The end," Athena announced. She had been worried about reading the story to the orphans, but their teacher had assured her that the children loved the story and weren't upset by its ending. Looking at them, Athena was pleased to see that they seemed to love the story for it's own merit and weren't overly troubled by the differences between themselves and the main characters. So unlike adults who tended to overanalyze every situation and miss enjoying themselves.

"That's how it will be when your dad leads us to Earth," Noah, her little shadow, looked up at her with big blue eyes that were a darker shade than her own.

"You know who my dad is?" she asked, surprised.

"Adama is your dad and Apollo is your brother," Finbar, another little boy in the circle, announced. "We've seen you on the IFB."

"Oh," Athena's mouth pursed reflexively at the mention of her appearances on Inter-Fleet Broadcasting. Not being a high profile person in her own right, her appearances were usually during Zara's rumor shows.

"We thought you were very nice," Noah told her.

"And you tell stories good. Are you going to come visit us again?" Rianna, a six yahren old girl, asked.

"Would you like it if I came to visit sometimes?" she asked. A chorus of approval responded to her question. "Then I would like very much to come visit. Would it be okay if I brought some of the children I teach on the Galactica to meet you?" This idea too met with approval.

"I see from your nanny's signal that it's time for you to put away your books and toys," she told them, sad that it was already time for her to leave, but she had been advised not to spend too much time because it would not always be possible for her so stay long. No one wanted the children to raise their expectations and be disappointed, especially since people often lost interest after their first few visits. Athena knew she could never lose interest, but thought the policy a wise one.

She turned off the reader and began to help the children around her stand up. Noah, however, insisted on staying by her side and helping her pick up the stray items the other children had left behind. The child was engaging and intelligent and she intended to ask his nanny or Caphis more about the child before she left.

"Thank you," she bent down and took the toys he was handing her. "You're very helpful."

"Thank you," he smiled at her. "I like helping you."

She could tell already that he would be heartbreaker when he was older. He appeared to be only around five-yahrens old, but he already had the endearing smile and flattery down pat. She ruffled his light colored hair and he ran off to join his class.

"He's taken with you," Caphis said from behind her.

"I had a wonderful time," she told him sincerely.

"So you plan to come back?" he asked, not seeming surprised.

"Oh yes, I would love to maybe set up a schedule, as much as a I can with my rotating duties on the bridge. These children are wonderful," she told him firmly.

"Not all of them are wonderful. Some of them have real problems adjusting. I don't want you to have a misconception about life here," he told her. "They do seem to have taken to you, especially the little ones."

"I love children," she smiled. "I understand what you're warning me about. It's no different than the adults really, except they understand even less their own feelings and what has happened."

"Sometimes they understand better than us. Are you willing to deal with angry children? There are sometimes even some violent outbursts, though they are rare," he asked.

"I think I can handle it," she said.

"I think you can too," he nodded, seeming satisfied with her responses. "Come to my office and let's see what we can work out."

"Great," Athena put the toys away and waving to the children followed him out to talk more privately and set up a schedule.

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Adama was sitting at his desk sorting through the information that was coming back from the deep space probes and the long-range scans of the battlestar when the chime to his door rang.

"Come in," Adama turned away from his monitor. "Athena, what brings you here at this time of day?" he rose from his seat to embrace his daughter. "Athena?" he pulled back to look at her face. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Father," Athena buried herself in his embrace, tears running down her face.

Adama led her over to a couch and sat down, keeping his arms around her sobbing body. "Tell me what's wrong. Is this about your trip to the Orphan Ship?"

Suddenly Athena found herself laughing through her tears and she pulled away. "Amazing. Is there anything that goes on that you don't know about Commander?"

"Very little," Adama brushed tears off her cheek with his thumb. "Tell me what has upset you."

"Those children, Father. They've lost everything. All of it. Their families and their belongings. They live practically isolated on this ship. So few people have the time to visit them or play with them. They have it so hard and I'm so selfish," she sniffled.

"How are you selfish?" Adama asked gently.

"I live on this battlestar with my family and friends. I do things that I love to do. And I worry about who I'm going to date or get sealed with. It's so petty in the face of the needs those children have. Bona fide needs," Athena took the cloth her father handed her and cleaned herself up.

"That doesn't make you selfish," Adama stroked her hair. "You're a very loving and giving woman. You do so much for us. You help take care of Boxey as if he was your own child, for one thing. And you went there to volunteer your time for those children."

Athena stood up and walked over to the viewport and crossed her arms in front of herself defensively. "It was completely selfish," she admitted softly.

"Why did you go?" Adama asked gently.

"I still love Starbuck," she admitted, tears beginning to slide down her cheek. "I need not to be around him so much. I thought that volunteering at the Orphan Ship would keep me away from here so I could avoid him. And it gives me a good excuse to avoid family stuff because they're always there," she confessed, her head dropped in shame. She hadn't planned to tell, but decided that she couldn't stand to deceive her father.

"I didn't realize including Starbuck and Cassiopeia at our gatherings was so hard on you. I'm sorry," Adama walked over to stand behind his daughter and put his hands on her arms.

"No, he's family and she's his girlfriend. While it really made me angry for a while that he brought her and flaunted her in my face, it's well past that now. They're a couple and they both have every right to be there. It's just so hard," she whispered. "I need not to be around them for a while and that's not possible if we're all stuck on this ship cycle after cycle."

Adama placed a kiss on her down-turned head. "So will you still go to the Orphan Ship?" he asked her.

"Oh yes," Athena spun around. "I went there for my own reasons, but now I really want to. The children are wonderful and they need so much love. I have plenty to spare and they make me feel needed. That's something I haven't felt in a long, long time. In fact, I don't know if I ever have. I want to help them."

"I know bridge duty isn't always exciting, but it's very worthwhile. As is teaching the warriors' children," Adama smiled at his daughter.

"I know it is, but spending time with these children I can see the difference I'm making, or hope to make. I'm going to try really hard to grow up," she took a deep breath. "I've been so self-centered. It took just a short time with those kids to see that in myself."

"Well, seeing others who are worse off than you can do that," Adama said sagely.

"You won't tell anyone why I decided to do this?" she asked. "I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable, and well, it is embarrassing to admit I haven't gotten over him yet. It's been sectars since we stopped seeing each other."

"You're a very loyal and stubborn woman, Athena. A lot like your mother and myself," Adama chuckled. "I would never betray your confidence."

"I know. Father, I love you," she hugged him.

"I love you too. And you do what you need to do, just don't forget to visit me now and again and that I'm here if you need to talk. Or even just a hug," he told her.

"Or a shot to the head," she chuckled. "I'm due on the bridge soon, I need to get cleaned up. See you soon, Sir," she left him alone.

Adama's smiled disappeared as soon as she was out of sight. He had suspected, but hadn't been certain until now whether she still felt this strongly about Starbuck. He hated seeing his children endure pain, especially when there was nothing he could do about it, which seemed the case most of the time. He made his way back to his desk and buried himself in his work once more. Relying on his faith that time would heal all their wounds.

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Athena was walking around the main communications console to speak with Colonel Tigh on the command bridge Bridge. Before she reached the stairs, however, the warriors from the deep probe mission arrived to make their reports. Athena turned away and headed for the console where she planned to busy herself until the Colonel was free again and Starbuck left. Fortunately, the download of their log data was complete and she could sort through it and compare it to their oral reports with Tigh later.

No matter how she tried to concentrate on her task, Athena couldn't help but hear their murmurs. Especially Starbuck's, which she always seemed to be able to pick out no matter how many people were speaking. She hadn't even managed to go one day without running into him. She felt a frisson down her back as she realized just how insurmountable the task she had set for herself was.

A few centons later she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Apollo," she gasped, having been startled by his touch. "Welcome back. It looks like you got some good data here."

"I want to talk to you when you get off duty, meet me in my quarters," he said abruptly before turning on his heels and walking out of the bridge.

Athena blinked once in shock and then looked back at her screen. "What is that about?" she wondered, missing the glance Starbuck shot between Apollo and her before he too left the bridge.

"Lieutenant?" Colonel Tigh's voice interrupted her wondering.

"Yes, Sir, be right there," she stood and grabbed her hand-held and hurried to the command bridge.

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"What was that all about?" Starbuck caught up with his wingmate.

"I said I wouldn't ask you about this, that didn't mean I wasn't going to speak of it to my sister," Apollo said shortly.

"I can't believe you're still upset about this. I thought this was settled centars ago," Starbuck said stiffly. Looking at Apollo's stubborn face Starbuck suddenly felt angry. His hands clenched into fists at his sides as if he was preparing for a battle. He wasn't sure why he was so furious and, frankly, he didn't even care.

"Listen," Apollo stopped walking suddenly and faced Starbuck. "This is between my sister and I. You refuse to discuss it or examine what it all means, but I need to know how she feels and why she felt she couldn't share this with me!"

"So this is about you now?" Starbuck snarled.

"That's not what I'm saying!" Apollo's anger quickly rose to meet his wingmate's.

"Maybe you should Apollo, because I think it has everything to do with you! She probably didn't tell you for the same reason I didn't! Because she knew how you would react! Because we had both agreed not to flaunt our connection in your face after you made it clear you weren't a big fan of the relationship in the first place. Since we're delving into ancient history here I'll tell you other things you don't know. You're the reason our relationship didn't last! Your palpable disapproval made it very hard for us to be together. We didn't feel comfortable displaying our affection for each other around you. We didn't feel comfortable sharing with you, as a best friend or a brother, what we were feeling or doing. That didn't leave us much on a ship this small," Starbuck paused for an overdue gulp of oxygen before continuing.

"All we ever heard was how much of a womanizer I was and how naive Athena was. What a supportive friend you were! All I ever heard from you was about Aurora or the other women I had dated or was dating. You knew very well that things with Aurora were not working out because I was away so much and for so long and because I love your sister!" Starbuck's face turned brighter red as his tirade continued and his pent-up feelings were finally set free. "And do you have any idea what your disapproval did to your sister? To us? No, how could you, you were too busy judging to look and see what we had."

Apollo opened his mouth to speak, but Starbuck held up his hand to forestall him.

"You wanted to know, remember," Starbuck hissed. "So let me finish! You claimed to be my best friend Apollo and you are, but it really hurt to hear you denigrating me like you did. It hurt me and it hurt your sister to know that she was coming between us. I like my excitement as much as the next guy, but it wasn't fun, even for me, to have to practically sneak around to be together," Starbuck shook his head at the memories. "While I might not have minded so much, your sister did. It made her feel...feel...dirty. Being with me made her feel dirty!" Starbuck said in a ragged voice. "Do you know, do you have any idea what that does to an intimate relationship? By the time she decided she could get past it, it was too damn late for us! I thought, hoped, that maybe in the midst of the Destruction we could find the will to be together regardless of how you felt, but it was too late!"

"Are you happy now that you opened all this up again?" Starbuck took a deep breath before asking, his eyes still full of fire.

"You said you love her, not loved," Apollo said tightly and strode away.

Starbuck slumped against the corridor wall and closed his eyes. When he opened them he noticed a few of the bridge personnel eyeing him with great interest. "Wonderful," he cursed under his breath and headed for the squadron barracks.

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"Athena, are you all right?" Tigh asked her as they sat at the table in the briefing room reviewing the data from the probe and the long-range scans.

"Yes," she shook her head, a smile on her lips. "I just have a lot on my mind that doesn't have to do with vectors and radioactivity. Sorry."

"No, no, you're doing fine, you just seem a bit down," he said. "This is your father's old friend asking, not your superior officer."

Athena flushed and looked down at the table. While Tigh was a dear and old friend of the family, she really didn't want to share with him her feelings about Starbuck. "I went to the Orphan Ship today, it's just got me thinking."

"I heard," Tigh nodded. "It's an eye-opening experience isn't it?"

"You and my father, you seem to know everything that goes on around here," she chuckled briefly before sobering up. "It is. I know what happened to all of us, but seeing those children makes it all the more real. I can remember being young and dreaming about growing up, going to the Academy and being a viper pilot. Perhaps that wasn't the healthiest dream and I might not have had it if we hadn't been at war, but at least I had options. What do these children have to look forward to? There's this one little boy who is so distrustful, but he came right to me..." she broke off with a sigh.

"That's why we need to do our jobs the best we can so we can find Earth and give them those options," Tigh said confidently.

"Do you really believe there is an Earth?" Athena asked quietly.

"I have faith in your father," Tigh said simply.

"That's quite a burden for one man," Athena observed.

"Yes, it is, but Adama is up to the challenge. One way or another, we will find Earth, whether it be the home of the thirteenth tribe or just someplace safe for us to settle. He will lead us there," Tigh's faith was unwavering.

"You're a loyal friend," Athena smiled tenderly at the older man.

Tigh smiled at her briefly before turning back to the data in front of them. "Speaking of doing our jobs to the best of our ability, it looks like this planet has tylium and edible plants. It doesn't appear to be widely settled and, depending on their technology, we might be able to get what we need without disturbing the population."

"If the Cylons haven't already destroyed them, they were already here. Do you think that this might be a part of the Cylon Empire? It seems we're far away from their home world, but they had already taken Gamoray and they were here waiting..." Athena speculated.

"It's very likely," Tigh said in a resigned tone. "I've put the squadrons on alert in case this is a Cylon outpost, but we haven't heard any communications coming from the planet. It's hard to say until we get closer and send an advance team down."

Athena nodded her agreement with his assessment. The only question now was who to assign to the ground team. According to the rumors that filtered onto the bridge, Starbuck and Apollo had just had a major blowout in the corridor, a fact which made Athena uneasy since she was apparently next on Apollo's hit list. Regardless, they had just returned from deep probe and were scheduled for more of such patrols over the next two days. Since all squadrons were on alert, it really was a matter of determining who would best serve where. And it didn't necessarily need to be viper warriors on the team.

"Why don't we send some of the non-squadron warriors down?" Athena suggested. "They are trained and aren't needed to man the vipers should the Cylons show up again."

"Like you?" Tigh smiled at her.

"Actually, I wasn't suggesting any of the bridge officers either," Athena blushed, knowing that her superior's suspicion was well-grounded. She had been pushing to get a planet side assignment for sectars. This time, however, she felt she would serve better in her post if the Cylons showed up. "I was thinking of some of the reserve squadron members, gunnery and others. We do have some former intelligence operatives in gunnery and in the communications lab on the Science Ship. I know they still train and would love to see some action."

"You have a good point. We've hesitated to use anyone but viper pilots since we set out from the Colonies for any missions that included other populations because there wasn't time to prepare teams that hadn't worked together before and to avoid Council oversight. But I think that's been remedied by now. We have a few days before we'll be close enough to send even a shuttle down. I'll contact Primus on the Science Ship and gunnery and see whom they can recommend and to get them ready. Your father can take care of the Council's objections to using "civilian" operatives they claim are under their authority. We should send a couple of warriors down who are still sharp on these kinds of missions. Good idea Athena, we have been thinking in a rut. Perhaps Bojay and Sheba?" Tigh planned eagerly.

"We should send two teams down to two locations. Two warriors on each team. You can assign the teams as you see fit, work with the Flight Commander's schedule. Good job. Finish cross-referencing this data, I'll send Jorge and Tomas in to help you and Omega prepare briefing reports for tactical planning," Tigh rose and walked out of the room.

Athena dropped her head into her arms on the table. She had no plans to assign Starbuck and Apollo to the mission. The wingmates had been on every single mission since they had left the Colonies and for the sake of morale and keeping everyone's skills honed it was time to give some other warriors a chance to earn some medals. Apollo would be furious and would try and change his and Starbuck's schedules to accommodate the mission and she had the authority from Tigh to override his wishes. Mess Duty was not only beginning to look attractive, it was beginning to seem very likely that the Captain was going to find some way to get her assigned there soon.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Athena waited as her compilations were uploading into the tactical computer and rubbed the back of her neck.

"When is the tactical meeting scheduled for?" she turned and asked Omega who was sitting at the command bridge console.

"Tomorrow, eight centars," he told her.

"Guess I'm not teaching tomorrow," she said with a yawn. While she was still waiting, she sent a message to Breal at the battlestar school that she wouldn't be able to do her science class in the morning cycle and it was a dim prospect that she would be able to make it anytime during mid-cycle. Luckily, she prepared her lesson plans in advance and Breal could merge their classes on the rare occasion that bridge duty interfered.

"Why don't you get some sleep?" Omega suggested.

"Might I say the same thing to you?" Athena turned her head to look at her fellow officer.

"You could, would and should," he said wearily.

"This is finally done," Athena closed the connection and pulled her hand-held into her lap. "We're done here for now. Why don't you walk me out? Maybe we can get a bite before bed?"

"Is that a proposition?" Omega said to her in a teasing undertone.

"Ha, ha," she rolled her eyes. "Liam is here to relieve you if you could tear yourself out of the 'all-powerful-seat'."

"Don't you have an appointment with your brother now?" he asked.

"Don't remind me. Well, I am getting something to eat first, no scratch that. He can have a few centons and, if it isn't really important, I'm going to leave and join you," she grumbled.

"And if it is important?" Omega escorted her down the steps.

"Then he can order me something to eat," she smiled.

"Good plan. I for one am getting something to eat and then I'm getting some shuteye. Of course, I'll probably dream about the meeting," he complained good-naturedly.

"I know that feeling," she shook her head as they left the quiet bridge. The quiet was something Athena treasured about working during the late cycle. No one was quite sure why it was markedly quieter than the earlier cycles when there were just as many people on duty and on patrol. She figured it had to do with the biorhythms and personalities of the people on late cycle. And maybe something to do with the fact that Tigh often presided over the shift and was a relaxing presence, whereas her father motivated people to work more frantically? Well, it wasn't anything she was going to solve tonight, unless she needed to think of something else while her brother was blathering on.

"See you soon," Omega waved as she headed towards the family quarters and her meeting with her brother.

If there was any luck on her side he would be asleep already. Or over whatever he was upset about.

"Yeah right," she snorted.

<><><><><><><><><><>

"You wanted to see me?" Athena sat down across from her brother in the darkened room. "You don't look so good," Athena leaned forward in her chair to study her brother's haggard face. "What's wrong?"

"That's what I want you to tell me, Athena," he said quietly.

Athena stood up and made her way to her brother's side and sat down. "I don't know what you are talking about. You seemed pretty angry on the bridge earlier and I heard that you had a blow out with Starbuck in the corridor right after. I've rarely seen you two argue," she placed her hand over her brother's.

"Only when you two were dating, right?" he said in a bitter tone.

Athena pulled her hand away and her brow furrowed as she tried to work out where this conversation was going.

"Starbuck and I did argue. Actually, it wasn't an argument," Apollo shook his head. "Starbuck, at my provocation, said some things to me. Things I didn't like hearing."

"Why did you provoke him?" Athena asked. She looked away from her brother. "I was told that my name was mentioned."

"It was about you and me and Starbuck," Apollo sighed and slumped down against the back of the couch. He rubbed a hand over his forehead, as if he had a headache.

"I...what is...," Athena sighed. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know. In light of everything else on her mind, she was certain this would only be an added problem. She wasn't even dating Starbuck and she was causing problems between them. "How am I a problem between you two now?" she asked.

"You're not the problem Athena. I was," Apollo started to explain. "I found out something last night cycle, something that hit me really hard. I'm not even sure why, but it did. That something was something to do with you and Starbuck. I broached the subject with Starbuck and he told me to leave it alone."

"Which he knows is impossible for you," Athena sighed. "So what could you have possibly found out that's causing all this trouble?"

"That he proposed to you. And that you turned him down," Apollo finally told her.

"And?" she prompted.

"That's it," Apollo shrugged.

"So how is this a problem?" Athena was honestly not bringing the statement towards any logical conclusion that explained the situation.

"That's pretty much what Starbuck said," Apollo observed.

"Why does this bother..." Athena trailed off and jumped up from her seat and walked over to the viewport. "It still bothers you so much that he and I were together," she said tightly. "Does this disappoint you or disgust you?"

"Would you please just listen? It's not what you think at all, it never was," Apollo pleaded. When Athena only nodded he continued. "I need for you to listen and to look at me when I tell you this, please. I don't like myself very much right now and I owe you an explanation if not an apology."

Athena turned and seated herself again in the chair across from him.

"I told you that Starbuck told me some things today. Wait, let me start at the beginning of all this. Last night Sheba told me that Starbuck had proposed to you and that you had refused him. She said that it happened right after the Destruction. It was the first time I had heard that and I was hurt that neither of you saw fit to mention it to me. We'll address that later," Apollo forestalled Athena's defense.

"I just want to say that Sheba never meant to betray your confidence, but she thought I should know. After I got past my hurt, the news led my mind down a course that, perhaps, it has no business going, but it did. So I asked Starbuck about it. He didn't want to discuss it with me. Which, of course, led me back to my pique at my best friend and my sister keeping secrets from me. I certainly didn't understand why neither of you told me and I felt betrayed. That's how i was feeling and that's how I was feeling when I commanded that you come see me after duty," Apollo paused.

"So how did that lead to you and Starbuck arguing?" Athena prevaricated.

"He said that if I wanted to dig up ancient history then he would give me some and he let loose," Apollo chuckled for a moment at his own folly. "He told me how hard my disapproval, albeit relatively silent, was on your relationship. And you in particular."

"Oh," Athena looked down at the hands clasped in her lap.

"Don't you have a few choice words for me too?" he asked ironically.

"Not really. There's no point," she told him.

"Why is there no point? What about an apology? Starbuck opened my eyes to how unfair I was to him and to you. I was so afraid he would hurt you as I've seen him do to various women over the yahrens. First he would sweep them off their feet until they fell for him and then he would lose interest and they always ended up broken hearted. I saw it over and over again and I wanted to do anything I could to stop him from doing that to you. I didn't stop to think how much that attitude might have hurt him. He's my best friend, I should know that he would never do that to my sister. And I should have, as you put it, butt out of your life," Apollo said.

"It was a tough position. I'm sure you never worried about the other women or interfered with them, but I'm your sister and you are an honorable man, Apollo. I understand your concern. And, ultimately, you were right," Athena pointed out.

"Not necessarily," Apollo sighed. "If I hadn't put so much pressure on both of you to end it and for you to not trust him who's to say it wouldn't have worked out. At least that's the impression Starbuck gave me today. And he did propose."

"Yeah, when he thought every other prospect was killed by the Cylons. And, for the record, I didn't reject him out of hand. I was devastated. Mother and Zac and our entire world had just been destroyed before our eyes. He wanted us to pull together and comfort each other. I asked him for time. He refused to give it to me and I lashed out at him in despair and anger. By the next night cycle he was in the launch tube with some woman he had just picked up while on missions of mercy! Believe me, he didn't miss a beat when I granted him a reprieve from his own impulsiveness," she said scoffed.

"Starbuck never tried to pull people closer in a time of crisis before," Apollo said quietly.

"He had never had his entire world destroyed either," Athena shot back. "He's seems to do it pretty well with Cassi now."

"So why didn't you two stop dating after that?" Apollo asked.

"Because I was a fool and he wanted a good time. He recovered quick enough," Athena shrugged, fighting back tears. This conversation was tearing her apart. "Why are we arguing about this now? Starbuck is right. This is ancient history. What was and what will never be doesn't matter. He's with Cassi now and he loves her and he'll probably get sealed to her. He and I would never have worked out no matter what anyone did or didn't do for one basic reason - he didn't love me Apollo."

Apollo bit back the words that were hovering on his lips. Despite her attempt to seem unaffected, he could tell that the conversation had upset his sister more than she was willing to admit and he didn't want to hurt her more. It wouldn't serve any purpose. She was right about two things. Maybes didn't matter and telling her what Starbuck had let slip would only make it more painful for Athena. Someday she might like to know, although if what Starbuck had let slip was true, was still true then...

"I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry, for everything," he said in a calmer tone.

"And I want you to know that I don't blame you for anything, even if Starbuck told you otherwise. My...my reaction to your disapproval was my problem, not yours. I was immature to let your disapproval effect how I interacted with him. Again, not your fault. I'm really trying to learn from my mistakes," Athena hastily wiped a tear that had escaped her control from her cheek.

"Now can we put this behind us?" she kneeled on the floor before her brother and placed her hands on his shoulders.

"Yes," Apollo sighed gratefully and pulled her into a hug. "I love you, Sis," he whispered into her hair.

"I love you too, Bro," Athena rubbed his back, trying to give him some comfort. "I think maybe you won't go to sleep until you work things out with Starbuck."

"I was just thinking the same thing," Starbuck's voice suddenly broke into the sibling's private moment.

Athena stiffened in Apollo's arms.

"We didn't hear you come in," Apollo released his sister, giving her arms a brief squeeze before helping her rise.

"I rang, but there was no answer..." he shrugged. "I came to apologize to Apollo and since you're here, I'll might as well apologize now for tomorrow's rumors. I was overhead letting loose on your brother. I don't know if they heard exactly what I said, but your name is known to be involved," Starbuck told her.

"Sure, thanks Starbuck. Well, I just got off duty and I need food and sleep. I'll leave you two to kiss and make up. Good night," she gave her brother a kiss on his cheek and, with a vague wave at Starbuck, she slipped out of the room.

Apollo turned the lights up and waved Starbuck into a seat.

"Guess she wasn't thrilled by my apology, I thought they were rare enough she would appreciate it. How about you?" Starbuck said as he sat down.

"I owe you an apology," Apollo said.

"No, you don't. Your sister was right. Our reactions to your feelings were within our control. You can't be blamed for them," Starbuck shook his head, not wanting Apollo's apology.

"I shouldn't have doubted you," Apollo persisted.

"I should have told you to shut up," Starbuck told him. "You had every reason to worry about how I treated women. And she is your sister, you had every right to worry about her. I probably would have been mad if you weren't! You did trust me to protect her from all the other warriors."

"You heard quite a bit of our conversation didn't you?" Apollo realized.

"Yeah," Starbuck admitted.

"You know she believes you never loved her," Apollo said quietly.

"And she said it doesn't matter now," Starbuck reminded him.

"Doesn't it? Will you really get sealed to Cassi when you're still in love with Athena?" Apollo looked his friend in the eye.

"I don't, I mean yes, I mean I'm not still in love with her. I said I was in love with her, I meant I was in love with her. Not that I am. I do love her, as a friend or sister, not as a woman. Not that she isn't a woman, she is, I just don't love her as one. Well, of course I wouldn't I'm a man, so I wouldn't love her like a woman. Sexually, I don't...oh never mind!" Starbuck gave up.

"Whatever you say," Apollo said diplomatically.

"You look terrible, why don't you get some sleep," Starbuck suggested in a falsely sweet tone.

<><><><><><><><><><>

Athena's appetite had fled the moment her brother had started their conversation. All she wanted to do now was sleep. The past couple of days seemed to be the most emotionally turbulent she could remember in a while and she was completely drained. She also had to admit that since declaring her intentions to avoid Starbuck she seemed to be running into him more than ever.

If this was a sign of things to come, she was going to need all the sleep she could get.

End Chapter 2
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